Outspoken
by mo.texas55
Summary: Leo's got a choice to make. Donnie's got some stuff to make. And everyone else is just a complication! (Sequel to Unspoken Affection)...Don't you just love vague summaries :)
1. Chapter 1

**"Ask and you shall receive" :)**

**Helloooo my lovely readers! You wanted a sequel, you got it! Uh yes, I'll repeat that once more. THIS IS A SEQUEL. If you haven't read Unspoken Affection, I implore you to close this down and start there instead, because you're going to be lost if you skip that part. **

**Anywho, a couple of housekeeping things of course. I feel like I must warn you that there are triangles (or more like webs) all over this thing. Expect pairings on top of pairings on top of pairings - dunno how deep I'll go into all of them, but I'm letting you know now this story is not just about Raph and Leo, though it _is_ majorly centered around that.**

**Errm, as far as updates go I'm not sure how consistent I'll be; it's probably going to fluctuate so bear with me. **

**Disclaimer: Five-finger discount...Uhhh just kidding, they're borrowed. Not my characters!**

**Anything else I'm forgetting I'm sure I'll mention later (it's 3:30 in the morning - I must be forgetting something!) Oh well. Anywho! Proceed, read, enjoy and as always, let me know what you think!**

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><p>They were sitting on the step above the pit, each pair of knees innocently leaning into the same space. Despite still being slightly pale in hue, Donnie had that false-modesty puff to his chest, occasionally stretching his arms behind his head and doing a poor job of biting back a proud smile as April examined the crack in his shell which was healing well and no longer needed bandaging.<p>

"Does it still hurt?" she asked, delicately tracing her finger along the length of it.

Donnie's head shook. "Nah, not so much. I think maybe in another month or so it will have completely regenerated, though there's a ninety-seven point six percent chance there will still be a visible scar left."

She nodded and her next comment was lost beneath Casey's cackle and Mikey's defeated whine as the young turtle lost more life points on Atomic Robo-X across the room. Leo hardly spared a glance for them, he watched instead as April and Donnie both smiled and shared a soft chuckle, gazing at one another in a way they probably weren't aware of.

The eldest turtle was sitting on the opposite side of the pit with his chin on his fist and his elbow on his knee. _Super Robo Mecha Force Five_ was playing, as it always seemed to be, its pixilated colors flashing in blues and reds across his face, but in his consideration it had no precedence.

He wondered what it must be like for Donnie when April smiled at him like that.

Leo sometimes caught the blush in his brother's cheeks whenever Donnie realized how very close he was in proximity to April, or if she noticed him staring at her. And occasionally the blue-banded terrapin shook his head whenever his younger brother let slip something he hadn't meant to say and then stumbled over his words and acted intensely awkward around her.

Leo wished he wouldn't. He knew Donnie would have a much better shot with April if he just relaxed, if he didn't worry so much about what she thought of him. Don could be a thoroughly remarkable turtle when he was simply being himself and not purposely trying to come off as "cool," in which case, most times, he failed epically and blossomed into the most klutzy, ineloquent ninja the world of martial arts had ever seen. Playing cool worked for Mikey and Raph, and even Leo himself sometimes, but it was most unfortunate that Donnie was lacking in that aspect.

"Kinda sad isn't it?"

Leo glanced up as Raph lowered himself beside him and flashed half a smile.

Despite the little flutter of nerves that suddenly tickled his stomach, the turtle in blue returned a gentle smirk and shook his head.

"Nah. He's cute."

Raph snapped his gaze up with a furrowed brow and an instant heat flared up in the older turtle's cheeks.

Leo cleared his throat. "I mean in a dorky kind of way, just because you can tell he's trying so hard…She does like him though."

Raph's expression smoothed out a bit and he looked back across the room. "She tell you that or somethin'?"

Leo shrugged, leaning back on his palms. "No, but… It's not like she understands him any better than we do. Why else would she talk to him so much?"

"Because he's a stalker and won't leave her alone."

Leo's smirk returned and he bumped his brother's knee with his own. "Oh come on, Donnie's not that bad. Look how she's smiling at him."

They both tilted their heads over their shoulders, crowns leaning innocently into the same space as they observed April and Donnie's interaction in a not-so-discreet manner of staring.

It was heart-warming, while also terribly frustrating. Sometimes Leo wished he couldn't see so much of himself in his younger brother. Sometimes he wished Donnie's utter and complete fascination with April didn't mirror how he knew he'd once been about Karai. And, what was more, he wished he could think of Karai without feeling a hollow ache in his chest, which now only twisted and tightened into a guilty knot whenever Raph was near.

His shoulders dropped and he glanced toward his red-banded brother out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make the motion obvious. But Raph was already peeking at him too, and upon catching one another in the act they both looked away quickly.

Raph shifted and cleared his throat but said nothing as Leo stared now at the floor with warm cheeks and a shudder that rippled through his arms and made his fingers flex against the cold cement beneath them. Silence drifted between them like a sardonic thread tying a knot around them, forcing them together to occupy the same space without their willingness to do so.

It was awkward and Leo hated that. Things had never been awkward between him and Raph. Difficult sure, frustrating yes, fun even, absolutely…but awkward? It didn't seem right. They were brothers. There wasn't supposed to be awkwardness there. That was something reserved for blushing adolescents who spent their time avoiding the very same space that they wanted to fill—like Donnie and April, who apparently were never going to admit that they were hopelessly smitten with one another. Raph and Leo weren't like Donnie and April…They weren't.

Raph cleared his throat again. "So…" he said slowly, staring down at his fingers. "It's been about two weeks now. Are we just gonna ignore it?"

"Ignore what?" Leo asked, staring as innocently as he could.

Raph met his gaze and his eyes turned hard, glazing over with that infamous glint of nerve. The two brothers regarded one another for a long while, both fully aware of what Raphael was talking about. But Leo said nothing to let that on, and those green eyes before him succumbed to a pitiable kind of anger.

Raph shook his head. "Classy, Leo," he grumbled, pressing his palms against his knees to stand.

Leo's heart skipped an odd beat and he snatched his brother's wrist to pull him back down. "Raph…"

His eyes fell on the hand he had on his brother's arm, and he was suddenly all too aware of how firm and mature the muscles under Raph's skin had become as they coiled and shifted the slightest bit beneath his palm. He immediately took his hand away, bringing it back into his own bubble—a dying universe that actually made sense.

He watched his fingers flex and curl and took in a large breath. "I—"

A dual bellow cut him off, charging up from behind them like a freight train, and Raphael was suddenly gone from his side in a blur of green, orange, and black. He reappeared again under a pile of limbs on the floor of the pit as Mikey and Casey double-teamed and tackled him to the ground.

Leo dropped his head to the side with a chest-deflating sigh and unenthused frown, watching as Raph's temper sky-rocketed within a five-second time span. Mikey and Casey's laughter was quickly suffocated as the red-banded rebel plunged his knees and fists into very sensitive places to shake them loose and then proceeded to beat them into the ground until they choked for mercy.

"The shell's the matter with you two?!" he shouted over their groaning as he pushed himself to his feet and stepped away from them.

"Dude," Mikey whined, sitting up and nursing his already welting jaw.

"We were just playin' around," Casey groaned, pressing a palm to his nose and then taking it away again to observe the blood smearing his skin. "What's your deal?"

Raph glared at them and said nothing, muscles so tight that Leo could see his veins pressing against his skin.

He seemed to notice he was under watch and his bright green eyes shot up at Donnie and April who both looked quickly away as though afraid he'd pummel them too. Leo heard him growl under his breath before he turned stiffly and climbed out of the pit.

And the blue-banded turtle was aware of the exact moment that those hot, green eyes fell upon him, but he did not meet them. Instead, he stared straight ahead with an expressionless face and waited for Raph to stomp off and slam himself in his room before releasing his breath through his nose and letting his head rock forward on his neck.

"What's withhim?" Casey asked, pulling Mikey to his feet.

"Oh he gets like this occasionally. Probably had a run-in with a cockroach or somethin'," Mikey said.

Despite their blossoming bruises, they chuckled. Leo shot a glare up at them.

"You don't know _what's_ going on with Raph," he snapped. "Leave him alone."

They blinked.

"Sorry, Leo," Mikey responded, his mask creased on his brow, voice turning up at the end as though his response was more of a question.

Casey turned up his palms as though to assert their innocence. "We just thought that—"

"It doesn't matter," Leo said getting to his feet to walk away from the common area. "I'll go talk to him."

He felt the tension leaving with him, as though it was attached to his shell like a spool of thread, unraveling the further he walked. Only it seemed the spool had a pretty endless supply of strain on its spine. He didn't feel any more relieved when he reached Raph's door and he knew once he crossed the threshold to his brother's room any hope of being pacified with where he and his brother stood would quickly become a childish fantasy.

So he hesitated for a moment and distinctly heard Casey's voice say, "So what's up with _him_?"

"Sunk if I know, dude," Mikey replied.

Leo sighed. He leaned his forehead against the cool steel door and closed his eyes, counting to himself, pausing for a flimsy moment of meditation—like that was going to help. Even without this "thing" hanging over him and his brother he'd always known that the best way to approach Raphael with anything was by using the temperamental turtle's own method of eradicating problems. Leo would just have to force his way through it, no preparation necessary—at least none that would help.

So he lifted his head and knocked.

The door opened before he could even drop his fist.

"Took you ten more seconds than it should have," Raph snapped, turning away immediately.

Leo let himself in and closed the door behind him.

He stood just inside the threshold, not daring to go any further, and watched his brother throw himself down on his bed and chuck a shuriken at the ceiling where it joined a nest of them just above the place where Raph's head went. Leo shuddered. He didn't know how Raph slept through the night like that. It was like he didn't give a flip that he might be impaled by a dozen steel star tips at any moment. Then again, Raph cared little for the danger he often put himself through.

"What were you going to say?" the red-clad turtle demanded, now concentrating on balancing his sai on his finger directly over his face.

"Nothing," Leo mumbled, looking away at a dirty towel hanging from one of the cymbals on the old drum set Raph never played.

Why did he even have that thing?

"Alright," Raph said with a tone that seemed forcibly detached. "Then fuck off."

Leo closed his eyes tiredly for a moment then pushed himself away from the door and walked over to sit on the end of his brother's bed. "What do you _want_ me to say, Raph?"

"It's not about what I _want_ you to say, Fearless."

"Then what _do_ you want?"

Raph tossed up his sai, watched it turn to dive back for his face, and caught it by the tine just before it could poke him in the nose. "I want you to stop ignoring me," he grumbled.

Leo sighed. "I'm not ignoring you."

"No, you're just acting like nothing happened, and it's stupid. It's not like I'm acting any different."

Leo scoffed under his breath. "No," he agreed—to the most extreme degree. If anything over the past couple of weeks, Raph had been even more pissy than usual.

He sat up. "But _you_ are. I mean, come on Leo, why d'you have to make this all weird?"

"Because it _is_ weird," Leo exclaimed, widening his eyes on his brother. "It's weird, Raph."

Raphael's cheeks burned a dim shade of red. "That's not what I meant," he growled, stuffing his arms across his plastron. "I mean, we're still brothers, Leo…Right?"

Leonardo looked away, suddenly unsure how to answer that question.

"_Right_?" Raph insisted, slapping his arm hard enough to leave a sting on his skin.

Leo hardly blinked an eye at it. He brought his shoulders up. "Yeah," he said, trying to sound as though it was obvious as he looked back at the turtle in red.

"Okay." Raph nodded once, as though he'd just proven a point. "Then we've always got that. Everything else…" His green eyes glazed and he went quiet, the rest of his sentence hanging in the space between them like a tether ball waiting to be served.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and looked toward the wall.

Leo bit the inside of his lip and looked down at Raph's rumpled sheets. "Maybe we should start over," he mumbled.

He could feel it when his brother's eyes turned back on him. "You watch too much goddamned TV."

Leo coughed a laugh that died quickly. He shrugged again. "What do you want to do then?"

When he looked back at his brother, Raph's gaze was already steady on him.

He shook his red-banded head. "Let's just…forget it."

Leo frowned. "But you just said—"

"I just said let's forget it," Raph snapped, eyes turning hot.

"Raph…"

"Leo, I'm serious. Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters!"

"To _you_?" Raph challenged.

"Yes!" Leo exclaimed, offended that his brother would think anything less of him. "I'm not that shallow, hot-head."

Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Fine then. We'll just…"

"Put it to the side." Leo shrugged.

Raph raised a brow. "Are you waiting for something?"

Leo grimaced, eyes automatically shifting everywhere else around the room. He shouldn't have felt like he'd been caught under a spotlight with a jar of stolen cookies in his hands. And yet when he responded he himself could hear the waver in his voice.

"No." He kept his eyes averted and rubbed the back of his neck.

He hated how tangible his brother's gaze was, that he could_ feel_ Raph's eyes tightening on him. "This is about Karai isn't it?"

Leo scoffed and looked at his brother as guiltlessly as he could. "No!"

"Bull freaking shit."

Leo pursed his lips and dropped his gaze again. That was the one thing he'd always hated about Raph. He was the one person that always seemed to see right through him—with those bright green eyes of his. Why _were_ they green? For some reason that seemed weird.

"Alright Fearless, I'll tell you what. Since you want to play undecided, I'll give you until we get Karai back to make up your mind about where you want to be in this little triangle here."

The heat returned to Leo's cheeks like someone was switching a light switch on and off. He gazed at his brother with perfectly round eyes. Even after sixteen _long_ years of putting up with him, sometimes Leo was astounded by Raph's inherent boldness. But then again, that was Raph—any and everything that made him uncomfortable was something to take a swing at. He never allowed himself to be pushed backward. He'd keep stomping forward whether Leo was with him or not.

"So…" Leo began slowly, leaning his palms back on the bed. "You're actually _letting_ me decide?"

Raph cocked a brow and slightly stuck up his nose as though none of this really mattered to him. "Ball's in your court, bro. I did my play."

The blue-banded turtle tilted his head skeptically. "And you're not going to argue?"

Raph scoffed and turned his face away, bottom lip poking out slightly. But when Leo didn't say anything else he narrowed those greens eyes back on his leader and turned up his palms. "What else do you want, Fearless?"

"I thought this was about what _you_ wanted."

The younger turtle snorted. "I dunno what universe _you_ live in Chief, but where I'm at I'm pretty sure it isn't…Least it doesn't look that way."

Raph dropped his eyes to the side and didn't look back at his older brother anymore, which gave Leo an inch of freedom to watch the side of his face, though this hurt more than he expected it to.

In the moment, Raph didn't look like Raph—not the stubborn, iron-fisted, fire-breathing, smug Raphael that_ Leo_ knew. Rather, he looked more like an aged man, disappointed with the life he'd been leading all these years, only now realizing that what he wanted was too far to reach for, too late. It tied a knot in the leader's stomach to see his rebel this way—a warrior backing away from a fight he was too afraid to lose. Leo didn't want that. That wasn't the kind of spirit he knew his immediate younger brother to have. As much grief as that rebellious, hard-headed essence had given him all this time, Leo would've rather Raph had that spirit back right about now.

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><p><strong>Oh, I remember now. This is not my favorite opening : Which is partly the reason why it took me so long to get it posted. BUT we are moving forward - because, I dunno about you, but I was done waiting for this to get started...Have no fear. We will work this out together people.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry lovies. I posted Chapter 2 and then realized only half the chapter was up so I had to take it back down and fix the problem. Grr...But anywho, the good news is you get more story :D So read, enjoy, blah blah blah let me know what you think, and all that jazz.**

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><p>"Are they alright?" April asked, peeking to Donnie with a half concerned, half curious furrow to her brow.<p>

"Leo and Raph?" Donnie shrugged. "They've been acting…odd, but I suppose Leo's still uptight about Karai, and you can always count on Raph to be umm…unpredictable, to say the least—especially where Leo's concerned."

"But they _are_ acting odd?" April pressed, as though determined to know someone else was seeing what she was seeing.

Donnie nodded slowly. "Yes…Yes they are."

April hummed curiously and leaned back on her palms, her shoulder lightly brushing against Donnie's arm. His cheeks became inflamed and he looked away from her, eyes landing on Mikey and Casey in the pit, both of whom were pointing at each other's faces and laughing at the injuries Raph had given them. Resilient those two were—not to mention oblivious. Life was one big playground to them.

"Do you know why?"

Donnie blinked and shook his head again. "Not specifically. I mean—I have theories I suppose, but that's all they are."

April's lips turned up in an interested smile and she nudged him encouragingly. "Well let's hear 'em."

Donnie's eyes widened on her, as though all of his secret thoughts had been compromised; he coughed nervously. "It's nothing really," he stammered. "I'd rather not assume…I mean, if it's not that…I could…" He shrugged. "It's nothing."

April rolled her eyes with a complacent smirk. "Alright Donnie."

A soft silence settled between them and he allowed himself to watch her as she watched Mikey and Casey. There was a loose strand of red-gold hair trailing the length of her face and his fingers itched to tuck it back behind her ear, the way she normally did it. But he refrained. Sometimes even sitting directly next to her she could seem so far away, detached from him, out of his reach. Trying to reel her in was like carrying an undeterred determination to one day _be_ that person to lasso the moon. But it seemed such a fantastic concept. What if you _could_ lasso the moon? What if he _could_ get April to like him? What would happen then?

He bit his bottom lip uncertainly, allowing himself a tender smile when she laughed at something Mikey was doing. He'd bet the Shellraiser _and_ the T-Sub that no one on earth laughed the way April did.

He opened his mouth to speak, to ask her if she wanted to go for a walk through the tunnels, get some fresh air, or whatever kind of air was available in the sewers. Not for any real specific reason other than that he wanted to be alone with her. But he was cut off before the question came out as Casey jumped between them, elbowing Donnie in the plastron—whether accidentally or on purpose seemed to work either way for the puck head—and managed to nudge his way into sitting smack in between Donnie and April, his back to Donnie as he leaned into April's personal bubble.

Donnie curled a fist and growled.

"So Red, wanna check out this burger joint that just opened up a few blocks from my place?" Casey asked, stretching a cool grin.

The turtle's jaw dropped and a bubble of irritation tightened in his chest, burning to scream a _Foul!_ But he puffed up his cheeks and held his breath instead. It wasn't supposed to be a game. But still…That wasn't fair and Jones knew it.

April giggled and Donnie's chest deflated. "Sure Casey," she said with a coy eye roll.

"Dudes," Mikey piped up. "I thought you were gonna eat with _us_."

_Thank you Mikey_, Donnie praised. "Yeah," he added. "Mikey's making…What are you making?" He turned his eyes on his little brother hopefully.

Mikey propped his hands on his hips and leaned his head back with a cocky grin. "Just a little dish I like to call Leftover Take Down," he exclaimed, punching a fist into the air.

April squinted dubiously. "What's that?" she asked, as though slightly fearful of the response.

"Well, it's when I take all the leftover pizza and takeout and make it into something totally awesome."

"_Like_…"

The orange-banded turtle's eyes popped as though he'd been caught off guard. "Uh…I haven't really decided yet."

April gave him a polite, sisterly smile. "As…endearing as that sounds Mikey, I'm gonna have to pass." She pushed herself to her feet. "Besides, hanging around you guys, I've had enough pizza to last me centuries—_whatever_ form it comes in."

While she brushed off her shorts, Donnie watched with a disappointed frown tugging at his lips. He caught Casey's self-satisfied smirk out of the corner of his eye and gritted his teeth as his blood steamed in his veins, but he kept his rage quiet and fixed his frown into a casual grin.

He popped up from his seat and took one elongated step over to April's side to drape an arm around her shoulders as he walked with her toward the exit.

"I completely understand," he said. "So when you come back tomorrow would you like to trade tips on weapons? Sensei says it's important to be practiced in every form of weaponry. I can teach you how to use a bo staff—_my_ bo staff."

April smiled up at him graciously. "Sure Donnie."

"Or…" said Casey, throwing an arm around the terrapin's shoulders and yanking him into his side, forcing Donnie's hold to slip away from April. "_I_ could teach her to use my hockey stick and there'd be no need for twirling your staff."

Donnie bared his teeth and shoved Casey away from him. "_Hockey_ _sticks_," he began tersely, "are for sport, _not_ combat. There is no 'teaching her how to use it.' The bo staff, on the other-hand, is one of the most traditional Japanese weapons used in martial arts—_art_, here a term implying elegance and _discipline_. It takes a lot more than just waving around a stick and becoming a sad excuse for a vigilante."

Casey raised an uninterested brow. "I take that very personal-like, Donatello."

"Personal_ly_," the purple-banded turtle corrected.

Casey smirked and tucked a thumb inside his pocket. "Like it makes a difference."

"It _does_!"

Jones ignored this and draped an arm around April's shoulders where Donnie's had just been a moment ago. April rolled her eyes but allowed it and then smiled back at the two turtles.

"Tell Leo and Raph I said bye and I hope they loosen up. See you guys tomorrow."

"See ya, April. See ya, Casey!" Mikey called, waving after them with a wide smile as Donnie pouted, watching as his April was practically dragged out of sight by the likes of another…"man."

He scoffed under his breath once they were gone. "Can you believe him?"

"I know right?" Mikey chimed. "He's so cool."

Donnie wrinkled his beak and smacked the back of his brother's head.

"Ouch! Geez, is _everyone_ in a bad mood today?"

The older turtle softened and gave his brother a sorrowful glance as Mikey rubbed his head. "Sorry, Mikey. It's just…Ugh, he does that on purpose."

"Who Casey? Does what?"

"'Wanna check out this burger joint?'" Donnie mocked in his most idiotic interpretation of Casey's voice. "He knows _we _can't do that kind of stuff. He just takes advantage of the fact that he's the only one that can actually take April out places."

Mikey pursed his lips as though actually thoughtful. "But isn't that the point?"

Donnie sneezed and then blinked the dizziness away that came with it. "What?"

The turtle in orange shrugged. "Well if _we_ can't take her anywhere, isn't it a good thing that Casey _can_? I mean would you rather she not go anywhere at all? I dunno about you dude, but I'm pretty sure April hates not being able to hang out with us in places like that."

The muscles in Donnie's face loosened and his eyes fell to the floor, a faint touch of embarrassed rouge coming up in his cheeks. He hated it when Mikey, of all people, made a point that he'd overlooked—and was _right_.

The click of a door closing interrupted Donnie's astonishment and he and Mikey both glanced across the room as Leo reappeared with a distracted look to his eyes.

"You guys done?" Mikey asked with a jeering note to his tone. "You just missed April and Casey."

"Huh?" Leo blinked his blue eyes over to where the younger two were standing, as though he hadn't caught a word of that. "Oh. That's fine Mikey," he mumbled generically.

Mikey and Donnie watched their eldest brother stare at the floor for a moment before he switched his gaze back to them, this time looking directly at his brother in purple, his brow furrowed with uncertainty. He fidgeted with the strap across his plastron.

"Donnie, would you…Do you want to come meditate with me?" he asked, jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the dojo.

Donnie blinked. Leo never _asked_ any of them to meditate with him. He normally didn't think it worth his time to try and get them to sit still for something like that, and truthfully, Leo was the only one who actually _liked_ meditating. Mikey was way too distractible, and Raph was just as equally impatient. Donnie did it when he had to, but he normally had far better things he could think of to fill up his time—projects to finish, equations to solve, discoveries to make—meditating was something he never volunteered himself for. But there was a distinct tone of pleading in Leo's voice that told the intelligent turtle meditating was in fact not the first thing on the leader's mind at the moment.

"Okay," Donnie agreed. Though skeptical, he followed his brother toward the dojo anyway, glancing once over his shoulder toward Mikey who shrugged, stretched a beaming smile, and waved enthusiastically.

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><p>The dojo was empty when they entered and Leonardo immediately strode over to Splinter's room, gently pushing back one of the shojis to peek in on their sensei. Donnie pressed the back of his hand to his nose to stifle another sneeze as a strong waft of incense tickled his nostrils. He stole a peek over Leo's head and caught a glimpse of their father sitting on his knees, eyes closed in concentration, surrounded by flickering candles. His expression was at its most emotionless, a good indicator of how deeply he was settled in his own meditation.<p>

Splinter did not acknowledge their presence. So Leo silently slid the door closed and then walked across the dojo to place himself directly beneath the full-grown tree. Donnie followed and sat next to his brother, crossing his legs and straightening his back. He rested his arms loosely on his knees, took in a long, calming breath and for a moment simply stared across the room, allowing the silence to speak, concentrating on his brother's aura and what it might tell him. But he had never really been good at that kind of thing—at least not without physical observation—so he simply looked over to Leo after a while and took in his older brother's slouch and the frown in the corner of his mouth.

"So I'm going to assume you didn't actually bring me in here to mediate," Donnie spoke, his voice awkwardly loud in the emptiness of the dojo. "What did you want to talk about?"

Leo grimaced at the floor and glanced almost timidly in Donnie's direction. "I…" He sighed heavily. "I dunno. I'm just…I need advice I guess."

"Advice about what?" Donnie prompted.

Leo's cheeks flushed and he looked away, eyes darting around the dojo hesitantly. The younger turtle glanced down and watched his brother's fists curl on his knees.

He looked back up. "You can tell me, Leo."

Leonardo bit his bottom lip and shifted. "It…It's Raph," he mumbled.

"What about Raph?"

Leo shrugged, scratching at his knee pads. "Well…Did he tell you—why he was so mad at you? Why he threw that rock?"

The blue-banded turtle finally looked back at Donnie who shook his head, ignoring the small knot of discomfort in his chest. It had been a solid week or two since any one of them had brought that up.

"Not necessarily," he answered. "I mean, one can only guess he wasn't particularly fond of me at the moment…To be honest, Leo, I didn't really give him a chance to tell me. From what I actually listened to, he sounded kind of…jealous." He shrugged, suddenly aware of a fair heat reaching his own cheeks.

Leo simply stared.

"I don't understand why he would be though," Donnie continued. "There's nothing to be jealous of me for."

"There's plenty, Donnie," Leo mumbled, though he went on before Donatello could comment. "He didn't like that we'd been spending so much time together."

The purple-banded turtle raised a brow. "You and me?"

Leo nodded.

"But…" Donnie's mask creased down the middle. He thought for a moment, his knuckle on his chin, mulling back through the past few months, Leo's driven focus toward getting Karai back, Raph's increasing frustration which he'd seemed content releasing on Donatello up until it had almost gotten him and Leo killed. He had a theory, yes...Was he about to voice it? That was a question all on its own.

He looked to his older brother, at the desperation swirling in Leo's blue irises. His gaze drifted to the scars across Leo's cheek, still so uncomfortably new. He tried not to grimace before he looked back into his brother's eyes.

"Why would that bother him?" he finally asked, gazing at his leader as though he didn't already know the answer.

Leo sighed, turning his eyes away again.

When he spoke next it was as though he was directing his voice to the rugs beneath them. "Don't ever tell Raph about this okay?" he said quietly.

Donnie nodded and kept silent—waiting.

Leo took a large shuddering breath. "He loves me," he mumbled, a nice bright shade of red taking over his cheeks.

Donnie continued to stare, continued to wait—in silence—until Leo finally looked back at him with a glaze of anxiety, as though Donatello's lack of response unnerved him. But Donnie nodded, slowly at first, until he gathered what he was going to respond with.

"It—doesn't surprise me," he said factually.

Leo's brow furrowed. "You know what I mean don't you?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Not that it's obvious, but Raph isn't all that good at hiding how he feels and he's pretty easy to figure out, once one takes the time to notice all the signs. He denies anything he knows he wants but can't have." He shrugged. "Sour grapes."

"Sour what?"

"Sour grapes," Donnie repeated. "It's a phrase referring to the negative attitude a person will take to something they can't have. I don't imagine this is anything new, just something Raph's been denying all this time because it reveals an emotion other than anger in him. If he's…wanted you all this time then that would explain his determination to oppose you so much. To him you're not something he should want so he tried to push you away—that is, until he realized it was actually working."

Leo dropped his eyes thoughtfully and straightened his back. "So…Raph's been picking fights with me this whole time because he doesn't want to—_want_ me?"

Donnie nodded simply. He'd slipped into his non-judgmental psychiatrist mode—if he had to call it anything—the turtle with the answers to all of his brothers' questions. It was his job to help them with things like this. However truly odd the thought of Raph "wanting" Leo was, Donnie couldn't allow himself to make a big deal of it. If he did, then Leo would and if Leo did, then Raph would actually have a reason to hate his life.

"And this makes sense to you?" Leo asked.

Donnie offered him a small smile. "Psychology."

"Right," said the older brother, looking uncertain. "So…What should I do?"

"Well," Donnie sighed, allowing his shoulders to fall. "Seeing as we're past the sour grapes and he's comfortable enough with, at the very least, letting you know how he feels, I guess the question now would be: How do _you_ feel?"

Leo's eyes grew wide and he jerked as though Donnie had poked him in the plastron with his naginata blade. "I…" His cheeks turned red again. "I…I don't have sour grapes."

Donnie nodded patiently. "Noted. What_ do_ you have?"

"I have…" The older turtle's blue eyes shifted restlessly. "I have feelings for Karai," he blurted out.

Donnie nodded again, admittedly a little charmed by Leo's uncharacteristic flustering. "I know. But do you have feelings for _Raph_?"

Leo looked horror-stricken. "Donnie…"

"You can have both, Leo," the younger turtle provided gently. "That's perfectly okay. It just means you're in the bicurious, bisexual realm of orientation."

Leo grimaced, as though Donatello had just diagnosed him with a ghastly terminal disease. "Raph…Raph's my brother."

"True." Donnie nodded yet again. "But is that all he is to you?"

Leo swallowed, looking to his purple-banded brother as though he was going to provide the answer. For Leo's sake Donnie wished that he could, but that was one question he did _not_ know the answer to. It was easy to share his perspective on Raph's sour grapes, to shrug and nod at the fact that it wasn't all that surprising learning that Raph was in love with Leo, but to tell Leo that Donnie believed his eldest brother might be in love with Raph too was an entirely different set of cards to deal with. Leo had never been the most eager to let his emotions seep to the outside and every year that he practiced masking himself, he became harder and harder to read. This was one time Donnie could not clarify his brother's confusion.

"You don't have to answer that now, Leo. Just think about it for a while. Raph may not be the most patient turtle on the face of the planet, but he'll wait for you…He's been doing it this long."

Leo grimaced again, shoulders sinking. "He's giving me until we get Karai back."

Donnie raised a brow. "Why until then?"

"He knows how I feel about her."

Donnie pursed his lips thoughtfully and nodded. "So, either we get her back and you decide you love _her_, or we get her back and you decide you love _him_."

Leo squinted uncertainly. "Or we get her back and I'm more hopelessly confused than ever. Or we just don't get her back _at all_." At this the blue-banded leader dropped his head, as though tossing his weapons in surrender, as though he was giving up on it all.

Donatello reached out and placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "We _will_ get her back Leo; that I can promise you."

Leonardo peeked up at him with young blue eyes, glazed with a sense of dependence and a need for solidity, for something to be sure of. It was as though he'd aged backward five or ten years and was just a kid sitting on a rug lost and unsure about himself. Donnie pursed his lips sympathetically and then forced on a smile for his older brother.

"Should we meditate now?" he asked tenderly.

Leo almost cracked a smile. "You don't have to Don," he said shaking his head. "I just didn't want Mikey nosing in on the conversation."

Donatello watched his brother for a moment, despite all of Leo's confusion, admiring his courage. He straightened his back again and replaced his arms on his knees, tilting his chin up slightly and closing his eyes.

He peeked with one eye at his brother who smiled and followed his lead. Donnie reclosed his eye and began to monitor his breathing as he sat in a meditative silence with his older brother.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, this chapter is significantly shorter than the first two. But, it is a necessary springboard for upcoming...events...  
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><p>There it was again.<p>

That scent.

So faint, like a single strand of thread that seemed to have no beginning but always led _somewhere_.

She followed it, practically pressing her snout to the ground. She kept her eyes closed in concentration. The scent was always difficult to hold onto, for it was always enveloped in a stronger aroma, one vaguely familiar but that didn't quite make her as curious as the smaller scent.

In fact, the smaller scent frustrated her. She'd been following it all over the city, losing and finding it in the most random places, only occasionally catching it without its foil of the stronger scent which smelled of dampness and some kind of polish—a metal polish—though she wasn't sure how she knew that. Sometimes there would be other scents surrounding this one, scents of salty foods, perspiration and dirt, and something metallic and oily, like machinery. These three scents were also always laced with the smell of damp. Sometimes she occasionally caught the fainter scent within these other three definitive smells as well, but this only frustrated her more, made her feel as though there were more paths to follow, though all of these scents were often grouped together in the same places.

For the most part she discovered them on rooftops and in the shadows of Chinatown, and most especially in alleyways around manhole covers. So far however, she had dared not follow them into the underbelly of the city; she was already lost as it was, roaming around in circles day after day, picking up the scents and then losing them only to find them a few blocks over the next day.

These things, whatever they were, moved around a lot. Though, for the most part, they cropped up in general areas of vacancy, which suited her. She found it best to avoid the many humans that traversed the streets night and day of every day. If ever one of these fleshy ones on two legs managed to spot her they always made a shrieking noise she had quickly decided she did not like very much. Though there was something about these humans that intrigued her.

First, for instance, that she knew they were humans. She didn't know why she knew they were called that; it just seemed the correct term, as did multiple things she'd come across during her circular wanderings. The polish for instance, noodles, food carts, cars, billboards, sewers. She knew she was in the city, and she often felt, for some odd reason, that she should be a part of it, the urban essence, the business, the noodles and polish.

She often found herself racking her brain for knowledge beyond all of this. She couldn't remember _why_ she was in the city, what she was supposed to be doing there, if anything. Why this scent was so important. Where she'd come from. How she'd gotten there in the first place. _What _she was even—though that mattered surprisingly very little most times. But she could never _force_ the answers to these questions. If ever they came, it was haphazard and random and she'd sometimes forget just as quickly as she remembered.

Though, she _was_ overcome by strange visions sometimes, visions of herself in a different form, of one of those fleshy humans on two legs with short hair and red streaks over her eyes. Sometimes if the smell of polish was particularly strong she could very clearly imagine herself using that polish, or at least one with a similar scent to it, sliding a cloth along the sharp, gleaming blade of a sword a—juji-ken was what it was called. And she could see her reflection in the metal of the blade and, though it always looked familiar to her, she could never claim that reflection as her own.

She had other visions too, visions that most often came with those four strong scents that were always clustered together, as if she should know what they were.

Green and damp with shells, also on two legs with impressive speed and strength. They were not humans.

She had seen them a couple of times, crossed paths with them—run _away_ from them even. But she couldn't ever remember why she did. Sometimes it seemed she couldn't hold herself accountable for what she was doing. Things just seemed to happen and her body always moved on its own, and then before she knew it she'd been alone again, trying to remember what had just occurred, why she'd felt the need to run, who or _what_ exactly it was she was running from—or "slithering" from. That was probably a more accurate term.

Who…or what.

The green things.

There was one with blue, a cloth striping his face, as though marking him, making him distinguishable from the others.

It was a _him_—she knew. And he was the one that smelled of polish, the one that usually enveloped the fainter scent, the scent that reminded her of a past, _her_ past—that she might actually have one. It was a scent of warmth and wisdom—if wisdom had a smell. It held an aroma of incense and tea, and also had that interwoven stamp of dampness to it.

She was desperate to find the source of this scent. Maybe who or whatever it belonged to could tell her where she was, _why _she was…if she had a name.

And it was here now, around the ring of this manhole cover that she was circling, muffled by the blue one's scent of polish, a tiny thread of hope. She decided - she would follow it this time. She was tired of roaming, tired of skipping across the same areas of the city and being too afraid to go down. She would go down today, and she would follow those scents, and she would finally figure out where she belonged.


	4. Chapter 4

**I blame the lateness of this chapter on the holidays. Hope you're all enjoying yours!**

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><p>No matter how many times he punched it, kicked it, willed a hole to burn through its head with the flames of his glower, it never seemed to be enough.<p>

The stupid dummy. Sometimes he wished it had a heartbeat, muscles, real skin and nerves that carried real blood rather than fabric and stitches weighed down like a beer-bellied man with a mixture of dry sand and cotton.

A little bloodthirsty? So maybe he was, but clobbering something real, something that had the power to fight back and bare its own teeth, always gave him a sense of dominance that seemed essential to his sanity. He'd lose his head otherwise. He had to be in control of _something_ or else he'd be forever subjected to following everyone else's rules, everyone else's orders. He didn't work like that. And yet this left him with a problem—a _major _problem…Not only because Leo had been _named_ his leader, but because he could _feel_ himself practically bending down on one knee in submission every time Leo's blue-eyed gaze met his now. And why? Because he had an unfortunate attraction to the guy? (And he _meant_ unfortunate—like being born with a third arm sprouting out of his shell or having an addiction to cake.)

The muscles around his mouth tensed as he pressed his lips together and paused, breathing heavily through his nose while the dummy swung on its chain in that mocking way it always did.

It didn't have a smile—or any inkling of a mouth to speak of—but sometimes he could easily imagine that he heard it laughing at him, giggles all resonating and demonic, the kind that find hilarity in the worst of pains…But then that also could've been Mikey whooping at the arcade game across the room.

Back to the root of all misfortunes, however, Mikey wasn't the only other mutant turtle occupying the common area.

Raph narrowed his eyes and brushed them slowly to the side, glancing over his shoulder toward the pit where his older brother was practicing katas in front of the television.

Leo's movements, as always, were well-articulated and smooth, seamless…Dare he think captivating? There was certainly an air of grace and flawless intention to the way the turtle in blue always moved. Even when he lowered his katana to his side and paused to breathe, there lived an air of sophisticated presentation to his straightened spine and rolling shoulders. It was like every stride, bend, sweep, and flex of his muscles was a crucial step in the lethal ballet he was always performing, even in the moments he thought no one was watching.

But Raph _was_ watching, most times now a lot more closely than he meant to. And it pulled at his stomach with lurches of either dread, excitement, anger, humiliation, or longing…He could never decide which. He only knew that it always locked his teeth and made his skin crawl with a heat he found both pleasant and suffocating.

He growled under his breath and looked away from his new-found distraction to punt the stupid dummy in the crouch.

"Just fall over already," he grunted through his teeth as he slammed a fist into its chest and then swung a heel at its head. It shuddered and swayed and rocked but in the aftermath remained upright.

He wrinkled his beak, snatched a sai from his belt and drove it clean through the dummy's face with a ruthless growl. It didn't so much as leak out a drop of its insides. He exhaled hotly through his nose.

"Congratulations, Raph. You killed it."

The red-banded turtle snapped his gaze on his older brother who walked up with a guise of indifference and yanked the sai out of the dummy's head, releasing a thin stream of sand that peppered the floor by their feet.

"Now what?" Leo said, holding out Raph's weapon with his palm open.

Raphael stared up at his older brother through a slightly narrowed gaze. God did he hate the way Leo was looking at him, those blue eyes solid and unblinking, reproving and deductive…handsome. It was stupid. _Infuriating_, to say the least.

He snatched his sai back and looked away. "Now I start over again," he grumbled.

The shift in Leo's strategically-paced breathing did not go unnoticed, but Raph chose to overlook it as the older turtle turned the hitch into a sigh and reached up to free the dummy from its hook. He cradled the back of its head in his palm to keep the innards from leaking out as he hauled it to the lab the way one would carry a lifeless body to a medical center.

Raph followed. Not on purpose—more because he wanted to snatch his opponent back as soon as it was resurrected so that he could whip its butt again.

"What exactly are you hoping to accomplish, Raph?" Leo muttered as he laid the dummy on the table like it was a patient in need of an operation. He dug around in Donnie's drawers for a needle and thread and began sewing up the hole Raph had created.

The red-banded turtle stuffed his arms across his plastron. "What d'you mean?"

"I _mean_, why are you always so aggressive?"

Raph scoffed. "Why are _you_ always such a square?"

Leo glanced up at him once, his eyes shifting so faintly that Raph couldn't rightly call it a searching gaze because it wasn't half a second later that he returned to sewing.

Even the way he impaled the dummy's face with a needle and pulled the thread through its forehead held its own sense of poise…Damn.

"Are you mad?" he asked quietly, directing his voice more toward his patient.

Raph felt his face tic and he turned his shell on his brother, leaning back against the table. "Psh…I'm always mad."

"At me?"

The red-banded terrapin pursed his lips, glad now that he had removed the option of looking back at Leo's face. "No," he said shortly, his voice ringing through the spacious lab with a note of falsity that was hard to ignore.

Leo didn't respond and it made the younger turtle's muscles tighten. It was as though he could resist the urge to look back all he wanted, but his eyes were going to do whatever they pleased…How ironic.

He ended up glancing back over his shoulder and found Leo grimacing at the dummy, cheekbones nudging his eyes into a soft squint and forming a crease on his brow.

For a moment Raph said nothing. He watched his brother struggle to recompose a flat countenance, and unwillingly let his eyes follow the scars along Leo's cheek. The curve of each streak moved with the stretch of skin along his throat as he swallowed, and a knot settled itself in the pit of Raph's stomach. The way the scars conformed to Leo's minutest motion only made them more real, more definitive and sickening.

He shouldn't have been mad at Leo. It was a wonder Leo wasn't still mad at _him_ for everything that had happened.

He didn't even know why he _was_ mad at Leo. Maybe it was just instinctive. Maybe he was so used to embracing rage while his older brother stared him down that now it happened on its own for no reason. Or, maybe it wasn't Leo he was mad at. Maybe he was angry with himself for having allowed his older brother in so deep and now being stuck in a state of limbo. He couldn't fight his way out. He couldn't force his way out. He couldn't even talk his way out. He just had to sit there and wait while his esteemed leader attempted to make up his mind about something that would most likely leave Raphael hanging and shuddering on a chain just like the dummy. It was just a matter of time—that was all. They'd find Karai eventually. Leo would take one look back at Raph, stab him in the gut and then walk away.

_Stupid Raph…Stupid, stupid Raph. Why did you have to go and get all soft?_

"I'm not mad at you, Leo," Raph said firmly this time, tightening his arms over his chest. "I just want my dummy back."

Leo glanced up at him again, a bit longer this time, exhibiting eyes now painted with a thin film of rejection that made Raph's jaw tighten. But the turtle in blue said nothing. He flipped the dummy over to close up the hole on the other side and then broke the thread with a callous tug and took a step back.

Raph lifted the dummy up by its arm and heaved it over his shoulder. He made sure not to glance back at his brother as he walked out of the lab and put his inanimate opponent back in place. He immediately returned to pelting the thing with furious punches and didn't pause to watch as Leo passed him and jumped back down into the pit. Though he was sensitive to the moment that Leo withdrew his katana and resumed practicing katas with his shell to his brother.

Raph pulled in a long breath through his nose and closed his eyes.

"Casey Jones is entering the premises. Everybody brace for awesomeness so awesome that your face will probably melt."

Raph, Leo and Mikey all glanced toward the turnstiles where Casey slid his way through with a bump of his hip and a confident smirk stuck to his face.

Raph shook his head with a scoff. "If my face melts, it's because of your B.O."

"Psh, you're one to talk," Casey said, gliding over on his skated shoes and leaning his elbow against the dummy's shoulder. "You live in the sewers, dude. This place is so rank."

Raph allowed himself a small smirk. "And yet, you fit right in."

Casey shrugged his shoulders coolly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Casey Jones fits in anywhere he wants to."

"Casey Jones is going to get sent back home if he doesn't stop speaking in third person," Leo said without breaking his form.

"Is that what we're doin'?" Mikey said. "In that case, Michelangelo is totally about to beat Casey's highest level, bro."

"No way!" Casey exclaimed, skating across the room to peer at the screen. "Aw, you little leaf muncher! That's no fair. You're not supposed to start without me."

"Too late," Mikey sang, bouncing on his toes as he jabbed furiously at one of the buttons.

In the next second, the small turtle was bathed in flashes of orange and red light, and a vintage, video game jingle jumped in blips and trills around the lair.

"Booyakasha! Take that son!" he exclaimed, poking Casey in the chest.

Casey pursed his lips with a great lack of amusement and planted a palm on Mikey's cheek to shove him to the side.

Raph cocked a grin and automatically glanced toward Leo who, for the briefest of moments, met his gaze with a smirk. It was such a normal gesture, an exchange of silent agreement through smiles so practiced that it might've gone unnoticed if they'd simply let it pass. But within the very next second Leo seemed to realize what he was doing and immediately dropped his grin and turned away again.

Raphael felt the muscle behind his plastron shudder under a breeze of dismissal and he turned away too, resuming his bloodthirsty attack on the dummy with a frown.


	5. Chapter 5

**It's going a little slow, I know. But if you read Unspoken Affection, you know things will start picking up pretty soon here ;) **

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><p><em>*In the dojo*<em>

"So you want to keep your hands close to the center of the staff, without having them actually meet…Yeah, just like that. Keep your elbows here when you're twirling; you want to stay nice and centered or else you might as well just be swinging around a stick."

He caught April's tantalizing smirk over her shoulder as he corrected the positions of her hands on his favorite weapon.

"I thought I _was_ just swinging around a stick," she teased.

"Ha, ha, ha," he said dryly, trying not to think of how that comment sounded very Casey-esque. "Alright, give it a whirl."

He stepped back to observe her as she squinted her eyes in concentration and slowly began spinning the bo. It scraped the rug a couple of times and he encouraged her to raise it higher. She did so without comment, pursing her lips. The hand positions he'd shown her a moment ago became confused, and rather than turning in a straight arc, the staff tilted at an angle and hit her in the shin. She automatically leapt back a step.

"Don't move your stance," he directed, pinching the end of the weapon to put its motion on pause. "That comes later. You've got to get twirling down first."

She exhaled with an impatient whine as he fixed her grip again. "How do you get it to go so fast?"

He chuckled, subconsciously taking note of the way her hands felt under his own. They were so small.

"Eleven years, one month, and three days of practice, that's how. I've had the benefit of training under a grand master of ninjutsu since I was five—three and a half if you count curiosity. Trust me, it doesn't happen overnight, and that's okay."

"But you make it look so easy."

"It is," he said.

She raised a brow at him and he smiled, still vaguely aware that her hands were still enveloped in his own.

"Once you get used to it." He shrugged. "Then it just becomes second nature. You're thinking about it too much right now."

She scoffed. "What a funny thing for _you_ to say, Donnie."

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, the warmth now finally growing in his cheeks. "Alright, try again, but this time don't concentrate so hard on how to move your hands, just let it happen."

He stepped back again and she proceeded to twirl the bo, moving at a painstakingly slow pace that he knew she minded more than he did. He smiled as he watched her nose wrinkle, the dusting of freckles on her cheeks moving with her skin.

His eyes traveled to her hands, observing the still awkward positioning of them as they clutched and released the staff in the wrong spots, twisting weirdly at the wrists in between. He didn't stop her though, didn't say anything. Instead, he found his gaze moving back up her arms and then down the curve of her back to her waist, down around her boots and back up again, noticing the bend in her knees, the space between each foot, the sheer curvature of her. She'd always been beautiful to him, but somehow the extent of her femininity had escaped him for a while.

"Am I doing this right?"

He didn't answer. In fact, he'd hardly heard. Her voice, while sweet and endearing, seemed somewhere far away, echoing through the back of his mind as un-urgent at the moment. He simply continued his mesmerized staring, the sound of his own heart growing oppositely louder.

"Donnie," she called. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful," he mumbled.

It didn't register until she glanced over at him and a flush of heat blossomed over the entirety of his face.

"I mean your form…The way you…Your um…You-you get it," he stammered, waving a passive hand, though his stomach had somehow found its way to his throat.

"Yeah," she said, a tiny smirk hidden in the corner of her lips. She'd stopped twirling the bo by now and was clutching its middle with one hand. "My form," she repeated.

His eyes became the size of saucers as he realized she'd, yet again, caught him in the act of staring. "The way you were standing—I mean twirling…the staff. I mean your hand positions—placements, could still use some work. But I was talking about your form, is—_was_ beautiful…Not that you're not…But…"

He groaned to himself and tugged at the tails of his mask, turning his face away as he looked over his shoulder and took a breath. "What's next?" he said loudly, looking back to her.

She smiled, leaning casually against his staff with her hip popped to the side. He vaguely wondered if she did that on purpose—if she _knew _how enticing she was.

"You're the teacher, Donnie."

"Yeah…Right…Of course." He cleared his throat and tugged on the ends of his mask again before letting them fall across his shoulder. "So we went over blocking and striking. The twirling will get there with practice. But for now, how about some sparring?" He shrugged, forcing himself to play it cool as he fixed a casual grin to his cheeks.

She narrowed her eyes on him, that smirk still concealed beneath her freckles. "I thought Sensei said you were on temporary sparring leave for another week or so."

Donnie shrugged. He leisurely—and yet very consciously—strolled closer to her, gripping the top end of the staff and leaning against the opposite side. "What, are you afraid I'll beat you?"

She scoffed. "You know I'm not. And you also know that, any other day, I'd take you up on that challenge in a second," she said poking a finger at his plastron. Her daring smile softened. "But I don't want to get in trouble with Sensei, and I don't want you being sick any longer than you have to be."

His smile dropped at one corner. "I'm not…_sick_. It's just taking my body a while to—_rejuvenate_."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Remember two days ago during training?"

He looked toward the ceiling as though trying to recall.

"You passed out, Donnie."

"For like five seconds." He shrugged.

"More like five minutes." Her smile turned sympathetic and she rested her palm against his plastron now, withdrawing an intensified beat from his chest, as though his heart was desperate to get as close to her hand as possible. "You only have to wait it out a little longer, D. Do it for me will you? I _want_ you to be okay again."

His chest deflated with a faint sigh, but he rested his hand on top of hers and smiled fondly. "I _am_ okay."

The corners of her lips turned up tenderly, and he hadn't realized until that moment, how far he'd leaned forward.

"Know how to twirl a baton yet, Red?"

Donnie and April both jumped and snapped their gazes toward the entrance to the dojo where Casey was strutting in with his hands behind his head, a mischievous grin to his lips.

Donnie growled under his breath.

April propped her hands on her hips. "You know, you and Donnie's weapons aren't so different. Maybe you could learn a few things from him too."

"Except Casey's hockey stick isn't a weapon," Donnie grumbled.

Neither of them seemed to hear because Casey was already responding with, "Nah, defense isn't really my style."

The turtle twitched. "_Defense_?"

Casey smiled at him with that irksome smirk that said so obviously he only ever opened his mouth for the strict purpose of getting under people's skin—people being Donatello. "Don't take it the wrong way buddy. You're not exactly wielding a threat over there."

Donnie's back teeth clenched and he allowed the grip he had on his staff to tighten and release the naginata blade. But no sooner had Casey cocked an eyebrow across the room then the three of them were encased in a blanket of darkness.

Donnie's muscles uncoiled.

"Donnie!" came a chorus of irritated voices.

"It wasn't _me_!" he shouted back defensively.

He blinked as a small white light popped on across the room. Casey waved his phone and Donnie and April followed him out of the dojo where they joined the congregation of his brothers and Splinter in the common room.

"Man, I was just about to beat the game," Mikey whined from over by the arcade game. He was staring somberly at the blackened screen, his face lit up by the pale light of his T-phone. He placed his palm on it lovingly. "Three hours of my undivided attention. Three hours of no pizza. And it's all a waste!" He fell against the game dramatically and moaned.

Casey snickered. "That sucks, bro."

Mikey popped up with a glare, rounding his cell light on Jones. "It was you wasn't it?! I knew it! You just couldn't let it be could you?"

Casey shook his head. "I promise you Mikey, I had nothing to do with this blackout. Though I can't say I'm complaining."

"So what was it this time, Donnie?" Leo asked, disregarding Mikey's next comment as the little orange-banded turtle flew at Casey like a wrecking ball and they began to tussle at Leo's feet, both smirking daringly like children.

Donnie turned his gaze away from them too and noticed all other eyes gazing at him expectantly through the shadows.

He tapped his chin with his knuckle thoughtfully, stepping over Casey and Mikey as they rolled past him. "Can't have been a short," he muttered. "I just checked the breaker box yesterday. Something must've tampered with the cables in the east tunnel, probably a rat, or maybe the rubber jacket around the current was worn someplace and there was a leak. I haven't been down there in a while to assess the conditions. I'll go check it out."

There was a stiff shift from the shadows to his right and Splinter took his wooden gaze away from the two wrestlers to flash glinting eyes on Donatello. It seemed one moment he was standing a good ten feet away and the next he had a hand on Donnie's shoulder.

"Take your brother with you, my son," he said, nodding toward Leo.

Donnie sighed—a little worn by his sensei's recent spike in over-protection—but he bowed his head respectfully. "Hai Sensei."

He and his older brother exchanged glances, and it did not go unnoticed when Leo's eyes made the quickest glance in Raph's direction. But Donatello pretended not to notice and took the moment to sheathe his staff instead. Then he and his brother silently broke away from the group to gather a couple of flash lights and exit through the turnstiles.


	6. Chapter 6

They walked in silence for a while, something that wasn't necessarily a strain for them. Unlike either of Leo's other brothers, Donnie was easy to be quiet with, which made moments like these comfortable.

They listened for a while to the mundane ambient hum of the sewers, the trickling of water through pipes and down the brick walls of the tunnels, the squeak and patter of rats moving through the shadows, the rumbling of subway cars in the distance. As Donnie followed the cables along the wall with his flashlight, squinting in concentration, looking for the glitch, Leo strolled next to him, occasionally glancing toward the beam of light moving along the wall, but mostly watching the shadows for movement outside of their own.

He kept to his own thoughts for a while, vaguely wondering what tone the atmosphere might've obtained if Raph had joined them on this little stroll. He rubbed the back of his hand across his cheek, forgetting until then the scars blemishing his face. He sighed to himself, suddenly deciding thinking probably_ wasn't _the best.

"So…" said Donnie's voice slowly.

Leo's muscles tightened, already aware what his brother was going to ask.

"Have you given it anymore thought?"

The turtle in blue pursed his lips, keeping his eyes on the trail in front of them. "I don't exactly have your thought process, Don. I'm going to need more time than that."

Donnie exhaled a faint chuckle. "I know. I was just checking your progress."

Leo bit the inside of his lip, quiet for a minute as a slow heat blossomed on his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck and when he spoke next his voice was just barely audible.

"Since we're on the subject, can I ask you something?"

Donnie shrugged encouragingly. "That's what I'm here for right?"

Leo just barely allowed a gracious smile. This was what he liked about Donnie, the only one of his brothers that cared more about listening than imposing his own arguments. Sure when he got into talking he tended to ramble and his vernacular liked to roam into realms of factual intelligence that was hard to follow, but when he wasn't being asked a specific question, Donnie had a particular talent for pay attention. And this was Donatello—Mr. Extra-Sometimes-Unnecessarily-Thorough. He didn't_ just_ listen; he made it his duty to try and understand, which only made asking him questions that much easier.

Leo pulled in a soothing breath. "Do you…Do you think it's weird?"

It was only now, that he turned his eyes toward his younger brother. Rather than watching the wall, Donatello was now gazing at Leo with soft brown eyes. He didn't smile or frown but pressed his lips in a thoughtful kind of way, turning his eyes around the tunnel as he contemplated an answer. He sucked in a breath and then exhaled confidently.

"No," he said finally, looking back at Leo with a resolute gaze.

This did more to intensify the heat in his cheeks than to cool it. He wasn't sure what response he'd expected, but it wasn't that. "_No_?"

Donnie nodded. "Do _you _think it's weird?"

Leo faltered, eyes shifting again. "Well I…I mean—Raph's my _brother_."

Donnie smiled patiently. "He is…Do you want to hear my thoughts?"

Leo nodded. He didn't tell his younger brother that his thoughts were exactly the thing he was desperate for.

"Well," Donnie started. "We are our own species of sentient beings. We never have and never really will fit into human society. So we've always lived by our own rules, our own sense of culture. I wouldn't say that human ideals necessarily apply to us. What's weird to you is an idea that the humans say is unacceptable according to their principle beliefs. Love, both between same sex and siblings is neither encouraged nor really accepted, but the last time I checked, neither was the existence of mutants living in the sewers and lurking around the city at night."

He smiled softly and Leo's shoulders leveled.

"You realize we got lucky," Donnie went on, "with Casey and April? And how many more enemies do we have than friends? We're all we really have, Leo. And for fifteen years, we were all the company we ever grew up knowing. In a situation like ours, there was already a solid eighty-six point seven percent chance that _something_ was going to blossom between at least two of us. Even without that, we love each other anyway, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Leo pursed his lips to the side. "What about—Master Splinter?"

"What about him?"

"He was human once. All of those rules applied to him at some point. Wouldn't they get passed to us?"

Donnie glanced away again as he considered this, but the resolution in his gaze never faded. "Well, if you're worried about Sensei's approval—that's something you have to take up with him," he said with a slow shrug. "But even Master Splinter said that the human world isn't something he's a part of anymore, and I've got the distinct feeling that he'd understand, Leo. Heck, he might even know already. It is _Splinter_."

Leo's stomach squirmed. He didn't want to think about that.

"You know," Donnie continued, his voice slightly lowered, "April and I wouldn't necessarily be socially acceptable either—if we were ever anything more than just friends. Same thing with you and Karai."

Leonardo looked toward his younger brother who now had eyes on the mucky sewer floor. There was a distant hopelessness to his gaze that made Leo's chest tighten and his brow crease sympathetically.

"But…would you let that stop you?" Donnie asked, turning his eyes back on his older brother.

Leo shook his head in silence.

The turtle in purple nodded. "Neither would I."

They shared an understanding smile, and from there, continued to walk on in a space of comfort.

"How _is_ that going by the way?" Leo asked.

Donnie rolled his eyes, a slight glint of annoyance illuminating his irises. "It would be going great if _Casey_ had never entered the picture," he said bitterly.

Leo tried not to let his grin get out of hand. He was supposed to be sympathetic. But the strength that Donatello carried in the way he felt for April was undeniably adorable. "I thought you just said we were lucky to have met him?"

Donnie scoffed. "Yes, we _as a unit _are lucky. I never said that meant I actually _like_ having him around."

Leo shook his head to himself, still smiling. His poor brother was trying so hard. "You know Donnie, you should try _letting_ April like you sometime."

Donnie paused, completely stopping in the middle of the tunnel as though he'd hit a barrier. He raised a brow at his older brother. "What?"

Leo shrugged and walked on slowly, taking his time, allowing his brother to follow when he was ready. "You always try so hard to _get_ her to like you, to look cool in front of her, and make her see why you think you're worthy—but the truth is, I don't think you really need to do that." He glanced over his shoulder at Donnie's quizzical expression. "I'm pretty sure if you'd just relax and _allow_ her to see you for who you really are, you'd have a better shot with her. Because…well, to be honest Don, you're a pretty extraordinary guy."

Donatello blinked, and even through the shadows Leo could make out a faint blush under the green tint of his skin. "Y-…Yeah?"

Leo nodded.

Donnie smiled softly to himself and shined his flashlight back on the cables, beginning to walk again. "You know, since you told me about Raph confessing his feelings for you. I've been wondering—maybe I should tell April?"

Leo shrugged and faced forward again, walking slightly ahead. His initial response was to note that he was one-hundred percent sure April was already well aware, but he wasn't sure how this would affect his younger brother's confidence. So he gave a general, "It couldn't hurt."

"But that's just it," Donnie said. "It _could_. There are all kinds of variables to consider, not to mention that there's about twenty-three ways she could respond. And on top of that, a countless number of ways I could say it, but what if she—"

"Shh." Leo stopped and threw out a hand behind him to cut off Donnie's statistical rambling.

The turtle in purple stopped walking too. "What?"

"Did you hear that?" Leo asked, tilting his head right and straining his ears.

He wasn't sure what he was listening for. He wasn't even sure what he'd heard the first time.

After a moment of still silence, Donnie decided to wave his light toward the cables again. Leo saw him moving closer to the wall out of the corner of his eye, as though he'd spotted something, but the leader did not move. His blue eyes stared down the darkness of the tunnel at the point where his beam of light vanished into a wall of shadows. An icy foreboding started to creep up his spine and made goose bumps rise on his arms.

The atmosphere had shifted a moment ago. He hadn't noticed until he'd stopped walking. But it was definitely different, heavy, more crowded. Something was lurking in the shadows somewhere—close.

He slowly closed a hand around the hilt of one of his katanas, but did not withdraw it yet.

"Leo," Donnie called.

Leonardo's eyes shifted cautiously away from the impending darkness and toward his brother who was gesturing toward the fat cords hooked to the sewer wall. Leo drew closer and peered down at one of the cables where two holes had punctured the rubber jacket and frayed the wires.

He furrowed his brow. "They're—"

"Bite marks," Donnie provided with a faint nod.

Something shifted in the shadows behind them and Leo whirled around, whipping his flashlight out as though it was one of his swords.

"But they've got to be about two point three—two point four centimeters in diameter…" Donnie was mumbling.

Leo, pulse stuttering in his chest, slowly began arching the beam of his flashlight up the wall, waiting for the moment that it'd land on the thing that was hiding.

"…Maybe five and a half centimeters long—and the circular contour—they've got to be fangs. It's reptilian…"

Leo could feel his eyes growing as his chest tightened, like the oxygen was getting squeezed out of his chest and stuffed into his head.

The light had found it—on the ceiling, reflecting the beams back at him from white, silvery-purple scales.

He backed slowly toward the wall until his shell hit his brother's and he could go no further. "Donnie," he whispered.

"What?"

Donatello turned and his sharp inhale echoed throughout the tunnel as he caught sight of it too. The beam of his flashlight joined Leo's on the pipes above and illuminated the mutant's entire figure, thick coils wrapped tightly around the pipes, bigger and longer than he remembered. Then again, he'd never been so close to her, at least not while she was so still.

His eyes followed her form from her tail all the way over to her head which was rising now, bright green eyes glaring at them fluorescently.

A low, threatening hiss reverberated off the walls of the tunnel and her whole body began to move, slowly uncoiling, loosening its vise around the pipe as she lowered herself to the floor, torso first. Her tail followed, thumping the cement with a heavy splash. She raised herself up, and both boys backed away until their carapaces met the wall.

Donnie's beam of light began to quiver. Leo stretched an arm out across his brother's plastron protectively as Karai slithered closer, leaning forward so that her face was level with theirs and Leo could see each individual scale rippling with iridescence across her snout.

She opened her mouth, revealing those long, pointed fangs and strings of glittering saliva. She hissed, sharp and loud, and Donnie's flashlight hit the ground, flickered out and rolled into the sewage. Leo felt Donnie's hands automatically grasping his forearm with a tight grip.

"Leo," he squeaked.

"Don't move," the leader whispered in response, his voice calm and level. He kept his countenance flat and undisturbed, but truthfully it was frightening staring down an fifteen to twenty foot snake whose fangs were mere inches from his face—no matter if it was Karai or not.

She hissed again and then closed her mouth and leaned closer. Donnie's grip tightened, but Leo remained still. He closed his eyes and held his breath as her snout grazed against his skin, moving from his face to his neck and then his shoulder, as though she was searching for something.

He only let out his breath and opened his eyes when she followed his arm with her nose and began to sniff Donnie who trembled and whimpered, craning his face away from her with his eyes squeezed shut too.

Leo watched and felt his chest rising and falling quickly, though he kept his breathlessness silent. He forced himself to keep calm even when she flashed her fangs again centimeters from Donnie's neck as she hissed angrily.

"Karai," he called as solidly as he could.

She did not acknowledge his voice. There was a flash of white and a splash of unsettled sewage as her tail whipped around and began winding around Donnie's legs.

Donatello's panic was not so contained now. "Leo," he cried, squeezing his arm so hard that Leo's fingers started turning cold with the lack of blood flow.

"Don't move," he repeated, to which Donnie moaned. Karai's tail was already up to his waist.

"Karai," Leo called again, this time allowing the desperation to filter through his voice.

Her scales brushed by his arm, smooth with sharp ridges, blanketing pure muscle that snatched a strangled gasp from Donatello as she squeezed his torso.

Leo gritted his teeth and reached for the hilt of his katana again, shifting into a ready stance, his right arm now trapped both in Donnie's clutches and Karai's coils. "Karai, don't."

"Leo," Donnie rasped, the very end of her tail now curling around his throat. "She doesn't know who she is. You have to—"

His voice was cut off by a choke and Leo yanked out his sword, positioning the tip of the blade threateningly toward her tail.

"Karai!" he shouted, his grip tight and trembling. "Let him go…Miwa!"

She jerked, as though someone had thrown something at her. Her hissing quieted and she snapped her gaze to Leo, luminous green eyes softening as though with surprise. His heart stuttered, and he drew back slightly with his katana.

"Miwa," he repeated.

She gave one curt hiss and then immediately began to uncoil. Donnie gasped.

"You remember," Leo said, slowly returning his sword to its sheath without looking away from her. "That's your real name. That's the name your father gave you—Splinter…Hamato Yoshi."

A high-pitched screeched speared his ears and she lunged for him faster than he could grab for his katana again.

"Leo!" Donnie cried as the blue-banded leader was pinned to the wall and Karai's snake head hands wrapped around his neck.

He gasped and panted, failing now in containing his panic. "Karai," he choked. Abandoning his weapons and tugging at her arms. "It's—me. It's Leo!"

He glanced around her and saw Donnie rushing up with his bo staff drawn.

"No!" Leo shrieked. "No—Donnie, don't."

Donatello froze, arms raised over his head, ready to strike, eyes wide with a halting fear.

"I can…" Leo's muscles tensed as Karai's coils tightened. "Miwa," he rasped, looking back into Karai's glowering green eyes. "We can—take you to him, to Splinter…" His grip tightened on the coils around his neck.

Her mouth opened until it was wide enough to fit his head inside. He turned away as she shrieked again, serpent slaver spraying his face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was completely severed by her grip and became nothing more than a choke. Black rings started to form in his vision and he could feel his pulse in his brain.

Her teeth dove for his face, mouth agape, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

There was a cry and a heavy thunk, and immediately Leo could breathe again, the cool sewer air rushing down his throat and into his lungs. He opened his eyes and watched Karai's coils lose their vigor and her eyes roll back into her head. Her snake-head hands slid away from him and she fell to the floor like a tree toppling stiffly to the ground, quivering the floor under her weight.

Leo's knees shook and he sank against the wall, staring down at her in pain until he looked over at his brother who was watching him with wide eyes, clutching his staff close and guilty.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly. "I didn't want to watch her eat you."

Leo nodded vacantly and reached out a hand. Donnie took it and pulled him upright, steadying him on his feet.

The water rippled beneath them, and they both looked back down at Karai whose body shuddered and arched, shrinking and darkening. Her tail split in two and became legs. The snake-head hands shrank into human hands, and short hair protruded from her head which then acquired a human face.

"By Darwin's beard," Donnie mumbled, gaping as they watched Karai transfigure back into Karai and then go still again, lying on her back in the sewage, head to the side.

"But…But…" Donnie stuttered. "But how—"

"She's not human yet," Leo said, moving closer to her. He picked up her arm and draped it around his neck then scooped her carefully off the floor. "We need to get her back to the lair…Preferably before she comes to."

Donnie, though obviously stunned, set his jaw and nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

**So spring semester is starting to kick everyone in the pants now - the holidays are over :( I'm taking two writing classes and three literature classes so I'm most definitely going to be up to my eyeballs in reading and writing assignments. To give you a fair warning: updates _will_ be sparse. *sigh* But I will do my best to post new chapters when I can. **

**Yep...That's all I really have as far as housekeeping goes. Umm...Splinter is a very contemplative person. Enjoy a little walk through his train of thought :)**

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><p>He tightened his grip on the head of his jaded staff as he stood patiently, silently—for the most part, tuning out the voices and the drips and the shifts of movement around him.<p>

It had been a solid hour since his two sons had departed the safety of the lair and he would be the first to admit to himself that he was more than worried. He knew he ought not to be—that stress was an easy catalyst for disfiguring his composure. And he needed to remain composed, or else become the over-bearing, over-protective, over-stressing parent his sons hated. He'd seen it in Donatello's eyes just before they'd left. The I-can-walk-on-my-own-two-feet look when Splinter had suggested that Leonardo go too. But even to send Donatello away to fix a simple technical problem had taken an intense amount of faith on the old rat's part. How could he_ not_ have ordered his eldest son to accompany him?

It wasn't necessarily that he believed Donatello specifically incapable of going out to excavate the problem and coming right back, for he knew the young teenager was more than capable. He would've assigned a tag-along to accompany _anyone_ that had to leave the lair, that was simply how he worked and his sons knew that. The thought of any of them wandering around alone outside of their home gave him itches of anxiety that crawled through his fur like fleas, especially taking into account their uncanny talent of running into trouble wherever they went. Sometimes he wondered if his life since over a year ago might've turned out a little less nerve-racking had he never allowed his boys to traverse to the surface in the first place.

So maybe he _was_ over-protective, but did he not have every right to be? He'd been keeping a close eye on both Donatello and Leonardo since the dire effects of their last mission weeks ago. And while Leonardo seemed right on his feet again, Donatello still showed signs of a slow recovery. He was getting better, definitely. He didn't seem nearly as fatigued as he had a week ago, though that mostly depended on how much he exerted himself and pushed the boundaries of sleep and wakefulness, though Splinter wasn't at all ashamed of interfering with this. And the young terrapin hadn't vomited for at least a few days, which was good Splinter supposed. But he knew it would take a long time for Donatello's body to effectively heal from an illness like that, and to send him into infested waters and disease-covered walls so willing, just made the great rat cringe.

And it wasn't just that. Any number of enemies or mutants or regular sewer excavators could crop up in those tunnels at any moment and he was sure his intelligent son could not make the run back home just yet. Maybe _he_ should have been the one to accompany him.

He thought, very frequently, about why it was so hard to watch his boys leave the lair time and again without him. He knew they were getting older. He knew they were starving for a kind of freedom they would never know. And he knew the more he kept them from what little freedom they _could _find only made them squirm and whine and feel even more alienated. But even as much as they'd grown over the years, they were still just children, and in his eyes he was sure they probably always would be—not for the lack of maturity they might occasionally display or that he thought himself superior to them at all, but because he simply _wanted_ them to remain those wide-eyed and innocent little turtles he'd found himself with on the day of their mutation. Innocent, healthy, and _alive_. And it sickened him to know that there was a fair number of adversaries crawling around the surface just over their heads that had full intentions of ridding the world of his sons well before it could rightly be called their time. He didn't understand how they could be so black-hearted, grown men who had, on numerous occasions, given their best to the attempt of murdering four children—_his_ four children.

The world was such a twisted place, and it only seemed to grow more warped and grotesque as the days went by. He felt bad for the little ones that had to grow up in it these days. But it also scared _him_, as a grown man—or rat, he supposed. And maybe that was really why he let his sons go on without him into that world. Maybe he was just too afraid to face it. But how cowardly and hypocritical of him to teach his sons of bravery and sacrifice and yet not to uphold these qualities himself?

He closed his eyes and bowed his head. He'd lost so much in his life. To lose anything ever again—any_one_ ever again…He wasn't sure how well he could convince himself to accept it.

He took in a long breath and opened his eyes again, glancing over at the four teenagers currently in his presence.

He allowed himself a small smile as he observed Michelangelo and April for a moment. They were turned toward each other, sitting on the step above the pit. April's legs were crossed and Mikey had one foot dangling over the bench and the other tucked under his thigh. It seemed they were playing a hand game of sorts—or at least they were trying to. They kept stopping to giggle because Michelangelo's hands were so much bigger than April's and he couldn't perform the motions as swiftly or as gracefully as she could.

Splinter couldn't have expressed how much he appreciated April's role in their lives, and especially to his youngest. Michelangelo _needed_ a feminine hand sometimes and that was obviously something very nonexistent among a group of boys. But April's instinctiveness to act as a big sister to Michelangelo seemed to be working exactly the way Splinter had hoped it would, and because of it, Mikey had grown even less timid about sharing his affection for others with everybody, particularly in the form of hugs.

Slightly soothed, Splinter shifted his gaze toward Raphael and Casey Jones who were lounging on the bench on the opposite side of the pit. Casey was speaking about something with much animation, waving his hands around and his phone with it, creating circles of light that never stayed still. He seemed content, even despite the obvious fact that Raphael was paying him no mind whatsoever.

Splinter studied his second-eldest for a moment, taking in his posture—his arms spread out like wings across the step, one leg stretched in front of him, head leaning all the way back. And the rat noted, with an interesting curiosity, the glaze of a drifting mind in Raphael's eyes as he stared unblinkingly at the ceiling.

He knew the past few weeks—or he should say the past couple of months—had been particularly difficult on Raphael and it pained him to keep his distance, but his temperamental son had a very specific way of expressing himself that the sensei knew better than to challenge. While he always made it perfectly clear that his sons were free to share their opinions and feelings of all varieties with him, he knew this was the most difficult for Raphael to do. And he didn't necessarily take it personally. It was simply not in Raphael's list of natural habits to verbally express his feelings in general. While the young turtle did not do well to conceal his emotions—especially the more negative ones—he was only willing to_ share_ his thoughts if they accented his strengths, never his weaknesses. And Splinter knew that to attempt to coax his son into sharing things he did not wish to admit—and to his father of all people—would only cause his son to draw further inward and turn him away from freely expressing himself to _anyone_.

So he had to watch from the sidelines and simply hope that Raphael would humble up enough to come to him one day—if he pleased. He would never force it, but of course he was not without his subtle indirect attempts sometimes.

There was something between Leonardo and Raphael that he had never truly understood, though he spent most of their lives observing them and trying to figure it out. He knew if he was going to get through to Raphael at all, it would have to be through Leonardo, which was why he had unashamedly given his eldest son the task of uncovering his brother's secrets weeks ago…Only now he wondered if that had been the right decision. It seemed Leonardo had learned something that put an odd kink in his and his brother's relationship - not that it hadn't been strained before. Now it was just simply a different kind of strain—a very complex one that had them constantly seeking out one another only to turn away and act like they didn't recognize the other's presence. Very peculiar indeed, especially since it reminded him of…

His ear twitched at the sound of voices and his quiet pondering was immediately stifled.

"Would you forget that please? We've kind of got a limited time frame right now."

"Well I'm going to need to see what I'm _doing_, Leo."

Splinter and the teenagers with him all ceased their previous activities and peered through the darkness of the lair toward the entrance where the sounds of Donatello and Leonardo shuffling past the turnstiles signaled their return.

"Did you find the problem?" April asked immediately as Donnie came through first, the light of her phone illuminating his slightly flushed skin. His eyes shifted and he didn't stop his half-walk half-trot toward his lab.

"Uh…You could say that," he mumbled.

It was then that Leonardo shifted into the light, carrying a limp body.

Splinter tensed, eyes flashing, and everyone else jumped up from where they'd been sitting.

"Is that Karai?!" Mikey exclaimed as April gasped with her fingertips to her lips.

Splinter's fur shuddered; he wasn't sure what with. An interesting mixture of emotions began to turn in his stomach as he gazed upon what indeed was his daughter cradled against his eldest son's chest. He found himself unable to breathe for a moment and ignored the way that the fur rose on the back of his neck like it only did when an ominous sensation took over him.

He had to put it to the side though—all of it. And at the moment it was quite easy to do this.

"Long story that we don't really have time for right now," Leo said breathlessly, hastening after Donnie for the lab.

The rest of them followed hurriedly behind them, crowding around the lab table where Leonardo carefully laid Karai.

Splinter gazed down at her—his daughter—in bewilderment. And he was sure he wasn't the only one, but at the moment, he lost his normally careful practice of being fully aware of every breathing entity in the room. For a moment he hardly recognized any other presence.

_How could this be?_ he was wondering as his eyes roamed the perfectly porcelain face of his teenage daughter who looked so intensely like her mother that it almost frightened him. But she wasn't supposed to have this appearance. The last time he'd seen her she was a serpentine mutant the size of a python, glossy and white with silvery purple plates. The last time he'd seen her she'd nearly squeezed the life out of him, but all he could do then too was stare—stare and mourn and yet hope with just as much intensity that his daughter wasn't completely lost, that she was still there somehow. He hadn't known how correct he'd been in hoping so—at least not until her eyes had softened upon him calling her name, the one he'd given her, and she'd loosened her grip on him and slithered off within the next blink of an eye, not to be seen by his eyes again until now, months later, in a seemingly human form. Though, something was definitely off about this state of her, something that made that fur on the back of his neck ripple with tingles of warning.

He narrowed his eyes and leaned closer, his nose twitching at her scent. And he could've sworn her nose did the same too—right before her luminous green eyes popped open and glared at him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Lucky ducks...I know I didn't give you much in the last chapter so here, have another.**

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><p>The moment she opened her eyes, Leo pounced.<p>

She was already lunging for Splinter, halfway up and across the table, when he threw his arms around her to yank her back. As quickly as though it were instinct, her fangs burrowed into his flesh and locked onto his forearm, spearing him with a white-hot pain that shot through his entire arm and drew a yelp from him.

A chorus of voices shouted his name—late to warn him of what had already happened—a couple shouted at Karai, and then there were hands on them both.

His sensei, who for a moment had intuitively taken a leap back from the threat, was now somehow both gently and forcefully trying to pry Karai's jaw apart saying, "No my daughter, we are not your enemies! Release him."

Mikey and April were trying to hold her down as her body thrashed and writhed, trembling as though it wanted to shift back into its serpent form but didn't. Casey had taken a step back and was simply staring with wide, unblinking eyes. And Leo was pretty sure the arms encasing him now were Raph's, ready to pull him away the moment Karai's teeth were removed from his flesh. He was also the key stronghold keeping Leo on his feet, though the blue-banded turtle wasn't sure if Raph actually knew how close he was to fainting.

A stream of raw heat and throbbing pain slithered through his veins, slowly crawling its way up his arm as though there were microscopic mutant parasites scuttling beneath his skin. His stomach lurched with an intense wave of nausea; he found himself opening his mouth and nearly puking out Donnie's name. His knees quaked, and the cluster of chaos surrounding him went out of focus for a moment. He felt Raph's brawny arm lock more firmly around his torso.

His purple-banded brother responded by rushing forward with something in his hand and turning his back to Leo who just caught a glint of silver as Donnie made a swift stab toward Karai. Only a few seconds passed, during which Leo was sure he'd hurl all over Raphael, before he could feel every centimeter of Karai's fangs drawing out of his arm and then the gush of blood that followed it.

He and Raph stumbled backward with the release, and when he blinked next he was on the ground, shivering in his brother's embrace and breathing shortly.

He was vaguely aware of Raph's short-tempered voice shouting at people, and then of Donnie appearing with a determined concentration to his eyes and beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as he yanked off Leo's mask and tied it so tightly around his bicep that his fingers immediately went cold and he could faintly hear himself groaning. The pain that had been rippling through his body now seemed intensely confined to his left arm and it throbbed with a hot ferocity that made him quiver and blink slowly and caused his stomach to heave again. He wasn't sure if anything came out of him this time, but he guessed it must have because Raph suddenly forced him on his side.

When his stomach stopped convulsing, he let his cheek fall against Raph's arm, grateful for the coolness of his brother's skin. He couldn't hear what anyone was saying yet it seemed the whole room had erupted in movement and noise. But it soon seemed not to matter as he glanced up to where Karai was laying, miles away it seemed, and his eyes slid close.

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><p>When he blinked himself awake, for a few seconds everything was a blur. His stomach was tense and felt as dense as a rock—as though it was so empty that it had folded in on itself and now refused to let anything in<em> or <em>out. His left arm felt just as heavy, so much so in fact that he was surprised it hadn't fallen through whatever he was laying on. The lab table, he decided after closing his eyes for a moment and noting the flatness of the surface and the way it neither conformed to his body nor his temperature. It was cold and smooth and hard beneath him, like a block of ice that wouldn't melt. He was lying on his side with a pillow beneath his head and his left arm stretched out in front of him, wrapped tightly in a coil of gauze. Essentially he was glad, lying on his shell on hard surfaces normally didn't amount to very much comfort, and this way he felt like he didn't have to move himself too quickly.

"Leo?"

Warm, slender fingers stroked his cheek and he opened his eyes again, this time letting his gaze focus on the red-headed girl crouching in front of him.

April smiled when he was looking directly at her, and she shook her head. "Leonardo, you are the luckiest turtle on the face of this planet," she laughed.

He didn't see what was funny, especially since his head felt too full to process what had just happened.

But his brother's voice cut off his attempt at trying to remember. "He awake?"

April looked up over Leo's shoulder and nodded. He heard the sound of stool legs scraping against the cement and soon Raphael came into focus. One of his rough hands rested itself on his shoulder with a surprising gentleness and Raph's bright green eyes peered at him questioningly for a moment, as though assessing whether or not Leo was _fully _conscious. When Leonardo neither spoke nor blinked Raph scoffed under his breath, a release of air that sounded peculiarly relieved, and the red-banded turtle punched his shoulder.

"Jackass," Raph said under his breath, an intensely faint grin hiding in the corner of his mouth. "How many times d'you gotta pass out before you realize being heroic has consequences? This ain't a TV show bro."

"What happened?" Leo mumbled, still in no hurry to move.

This was when Donnie appeared, nearly shoving Raph out of the way in his hurry to answer the question. He was rubbing his hands with a cloth, skin frighteningly pale and glossy, but smiling like he'd just made the discovery of the century.

"Leo, either you're an absolute genius or this is the greatest ray of serendipity since the discovery of penicillin!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Donnie?" Leo groaned, beginning to close his eyes again.

In his moment of temporary blindness he heard Raph growl something and probably push Donnie to the side which would've been the reason why Donatello stumbled against the edge of the table and why April said something about Raph holding his temper for five minutes. Leo allowed himself to rest for a minute, taking an odd bit of comfort from the argument that followed and all too soon someone was shaking his shoulder and he opened his eyes onto Donatello this time who was now sitting directly before him, still smiling.

He looked exhausted, and Leo immediately worried. Donnie knew he wasn't supposed to be straining himself, yet he looked almost as terrible as he had in the days preceding his bout of septic shock. If it wasn't for the light of excitement glittering in his eyes, Leo might've found his condition alarming enough to switch places with him.

"Donnie, how long have you been awake?" he mumbled.

"Something happened during Karai's mutation," Donnie said in that quick, breathless and enthusiastic tone he got when he was talking about science. He completely disregarded Leo's question. "My hypothesis is that Stockman mixed a small dose of a faulty retro-mutagen compound into the mutagen that he had already infused with serpent DNA. It had to have been accidental, because I don't think that the Shredder would have wanted his mutant to phase between a human and mutant form, knowing that he'd never intended to mutate Karai in the first place. This little fluke is what allowed Karai to change in between forms."

Leo furrowed his brow. "What does this have to do with me?"

Donnie's smile only widened. "You were the one that discovered this Leo! Or well, technically_ I_ did, but if you hadn't jumped between Splinter and Karai and gotten bitten then I would've tried the retro-mutagen I'd made weeks ago on her and it would've failed!"

Leo blinked and immediately began to push himself up. His arms trembled, holding up his weight, and Donnie took hold of his good arm and pulled him into a sitting position before hopping up next to him on the table. They were the only two in the lab now, though the door was open and he could hear Raph and April talking just outside it.

The older turtle looked back to his brother who hadn't yet lost his enthusiasm. "Are you saying the retro-mutagen you made won't work on Karai?" he asked, his heart stuttering beneath his plastron.

He didn't understand why this made Donnie smile even wider. "It _wouldn't _have worked," he said pointedly, holding up at finger. "But when you got bit, Karai injected you with her venom. I was able to tie off the circulation in your arm before it could spread to the rest of your body, but I had to get it out of your system somehow or I would've had to chop your arm off!"

Leo blinked a few times, leaning a little away from his brother who was still grinning like this was the best day of his life.

Donnie waved a hand nonchalantly. "Long story short, I was able to extract all the venom from your blood and I decided to study it for good measure—and I'm glad I did because I was able to break down its components and figure out how she was able to transform back and forth from human to mutant."

He hopped down from the table in a sprightly kind of way and walked over to the adjoining desk that was littered with beakers and vials and papers of notes next to his computer. He shuffled around for a specific sheet of paper and held it up for Leo to see, but all the older turtle perceived was a confused mass of random letters, numbers and equations.

"I was able to take the genetic makeup of Karai's specific mutation and reconfigure her DNA to modify the retro-mutagen I'd already made!"

Leo blinked again, not sure if he was completely lost or if his brain was just taking a while to catch up. "So…" he said slowly. "You changed her back?"

This was when Donnie's smile faltered the slightest bit. The paper in his hand found its way back on the table and was replaced by a small vial of bright blue liquid. "Not yet," he said, gazing at the new retro-mutagen for a moment before smiling softly at Leo again. "You woke up just in time though. I just finished testing it on a sample of Karai's current strain of DNA. It works…We just haven't used it on her yet."

Leo furrowed his brow, still feeling intensely sluggish. "How long did all of this take you?"

At this Donnie completely brightened again. "Not long at all! Hardly a week!"

Leo's heart skipped again. "A week?! I've been out for that long—_again_?!"

The turtle in purple pursed his lips, cheeks puffing up for a moment as though failing to contain something that had just come up and he laughed. "I'm sorry," he gasped after a moment of catching his breath and wiping away a joyous tear. "I just wanted to see your face—you don't disappoint."

He straightened up and cleared his throat, tone still incredibly lighthearted. "Hardly, Leo. It was a joke. It's only been about fifteen hours and you've been waking up at least every three hours and seventeen minutes to vomit." He shrugged. "Side effect of the venom, I suppose."

Leo stared for a moment, allowing his pulse to calm and withdraw the heat from his cheeks, then he lowered his eyes to his feet hanging a few feet above the cement floor. His fingers curled around the edge of the table on either side of his hips. Then he thought of something that made his head pop up again.

"If you haven't changed her back then where is she?" he asked, jumping to his feet before he realized he was doing so. Donnie rushed over and helped him steady himself before he could stumble and fall flat on his face.

"Take it easy, Leo. Your muscles have to readjust to moving around."

Leo clutched his head to ward off the dizziness for a moment and then held up a hand to signal to his brother that he was fine. Once he'd regained his balance, he looked back at Donnie.

"What did you do with her?"

At this Donatello finally looked appropriately less animated. His eyes shifted for a moment before he glanced at Leo. "I'll take you to her," he said flatly before giving his brow a pleading furrow and gazing at Leo with those large brown eyes of his. "But you have to let me give you a look over first. The side effects of mutant venom could be just as unpredictable as mutagen itself."

Leo sighed, softening quickly under that doe-eyed gaze, and pulled himself back up on the table. "Fine, but be quick about it."

Donnie's smile this time was as gossamer as an abandoned feather. He took Leo's wrist in his hand, pressing his thumb firmly against his veins and counted beneath his breath. Then he checked his reflexes, searched his eyes with a flashlight, took his temperature, and asked him a number of questions that Leo recited the answers to like he was a contestant in a spelling bee.

The blue-banded turtle hated check-ups as much as the next person, but he would've been lying to himself if he denied that there was a certain appeal to Donnie's meticulous nursing disposition—though, it was an appeal coated with irony and guilt when Donatello paused to keep himself upright and focused, squeezing his eyes shut and drawing in a long breath before returning to fuss over Leo. The older turtle knew this pause all too well by now and wondered when this cycle would end. Being ninjas, he and his brothers were always procuring injuries—occasionally illnesses—but lately it seemed that Leo and Donnie had both drawn one end of the shortest straw and were left to cling to one another in infirmities. Leo swore he could almost_ feel_ Donnie's exhaustion.

"Your blood pressure is a little low and it doesn't take a genius to guess that you're blood sugar is probably lacking too. But this is to be expected. Eat, something, drink some juice, don't move around too much for the next twenty-four hours...You won't die."

Leo smiled. "Thanks Doc…And how are _you_?"

Donnie gazed at him innocently. "Hm?"

Leo tilted his head to the side expectantly. He said nothing and he knew his brother was aware of the message he was trying to send. But Donnie simply stowed his medical supplies away and started for the door.

"I'll take you to Karai now."

Leo sighed internally and slid off the table to follow him out. April and Raph were still standing just outside of the door, no longer talking now and they both straightened their backs as Leo and Donnie emerged.

"He wants to see her," Donnie said to April's questioning look and her expression took upon just as much discomfort as Donnie's had when Leo had asked where they were keeping the new mutant. This made his stomach turn, and rendered him less aware of the look Raph had fixed him with.

The four of them crossed the lair, Donnie in the lead. And Leo said nothing as he was guided past the turnstiles and they all headed through the scape of tunnels—though he became instantly anxious. He trusted his family to take care of Karai—especially Splinter—but in her state, he knew there was little they could do that would be comfortable for everybody. He wondered what they'd done with her, how they were keeping her from escaping, how they were keeping her nourished, though this part made him shudder. He had no doubts as to what Karai's diet most likely consisted of now and he didn't want to think about it.

He nearly got lost in the twists and turns they took throughout the tunnels even with as much experience as he had traversing the very same maze. It took a long time, during which the four of them hardly spoke and he was starting to notice Raph's gaze adhering to the side of his face, though every time he glanced back, those green eyes were carefully staring off to the side. Leo said nothing about this either and only allowed Donnie to finally lead them to a small alcove that was barred off at the entrance they walked up to.

There was warm yellow light filling up the archway and the first thing Leo noticed was his sensei, kneeling peacefully, close to the left-hand wall, eyes closed and hands on his knees, though Leo could tell he was not so much meditating as he was waiting and trying not to acknowledge the sounds that echoed under the domed ceiling. Mikey and Casey were sitting by the opposite wall. Casey had his back slouched with his shoulders against the wall and his hood over his head, playing a game on his phone that partly contributed to the noisiness of the tunnel. Mikey was leaning over his shoulder, watching, a lumpy cloth bag sitting on his opposite side.

_Rats_, Leo informed himself with a twist to his stomach.

The little turtle in orange looked up as the four of them approached and he immediately popped up with a bright smile. "Leo!" he exclaimed, nearly knocking his eldest brother over as he ran up and threw his arms around him.

Raph had pried him off and shoved him to the side within the next second, but Mikey seemed unfazed by this.

"You're okay," he said, beaming up at his leader.

Splinter was standing by now and walked over to rest a hand on Leo's shoulder, a faint but real smile concealed beneath his fur. "It is good to see you on your feet, my son."

Leo blinked at the indecipherable flash of emotion that had just crossed his sensei's eyes. "It's—good to see you too Sensei," he said slowly.

"Please tell me you've got that retro-mutagen figured out now, Don," Casey said, pushing himself to his feet and pocketing his phone. "If I've got to even look at another rat, I swear I'm gonna hurl. No offense Master Splinter," he added quickly, his eyes flashing to the giant rat in the tunnel.

Splinter nodded his head forgivingly. "I understand your discomfort, Mr. Jones."

Leo glanced toward the bars in the archway as the other noise he'd been hearing grew closer and more alarming. He jumped back and nearly stumbled into Raph as Karai's serpent form slammed into the bars and then writhed quickly back into the shadows, her vicious hiss still thick in the air.

Leo frowned and found himself breaking away from the group as his feet carried him closer to the archway. His fingers curled around the bars and he pressed his face against them to peer into the space beyond. It was a small and empty chamber with two other outlets, both of which had been sealed off. The ceiling was high and there was very little light save the lantern on the floor near his feet that cast a bar of golden light across the floor of the chamber. Flashes of white streaked by once and then twice, and it took him a moment to realize what she was doing.

She was trying to find a way out—an escape—throwing herself against the walls, slithering from one end to the other and back. Her hisses and shrieks were venomous and full of raw anger, and somehow he knew she hadn't stopped doing this since she'd been put there…She was a caged animal.

His shoulders dropped and he felt an ache of painful guilt in his stomach as he continued to watch her, knowing that he was part of the reason she'd been locked up.

He felt a hand on his left shoulder and looked up at his sensei who was staring through the bars as well, a faint glint to his eyes that told Leo he felt the same way.

"She will not be in here much longer," the old rat said quietly.

Leo nodded once, looked back at Karai, and then turned to his brother in purple. "How fast can we get this done, Donnie?"

* * *

><p><strong>I'm about as anxious as you are to see Karai get changed back, believe me. I have to admit I've been partially stalling, though not completely consciously. So my sincerest apologies for making you wait, but the story will do what it does, I just write this stuff down. Anyway, obviously you're not going to be waiting much longer and the ball will start rolling fairly quickly :) I'm excited. <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Nice loooong chapter for you, since it'll probably be a minute till the next one.**

**And - this has nothing to do with the story whatsoever, I just have to put it out there because none of my friends or family care. But as an obvious follower of the 2k12 series, I'm saying this: I. Miss. Master Splinter! *Sigh* Soooo ready for him AND Karai to get back in there. Somehow, seeing his spirit in "Vision Quest" just wasn't enough o.o Though I did like the episode :)**

**Anyway, that's enough of that. Read on!**

* * *

><p>"Make sure you've got a good hold on her. Previous experience says she's not going to stay very still, and the sedative should be wearing off right about now. Be ready in case she wakes up before the mutation's complete."<p>

Everybody nodded once, practically digging their heels into the floor—if only they could. Leo glanced down at Karai's currently unconscious "human" form—or at least it might've been easy to call her human if it weren't for the scales. He hadn't paid much attention to it before. Every other time he'd seen her like this the situation was high-pressured and there was no time to fuss over details, but now that they were in the newly restored brightness of Donnie's lab and Leo had one hand on her shoulder and the other firmly—but not excessively so—clutched around her wrist, the scales were so obviously there that he was surprised he'd been so neglectful of this little feature before. Her entire suit was made up of them, glossy black and silver scales that occasionally shimmered purple and green. There were thousands of them, just as smooth and sharp around the edges as they were in her serpent form, protecting a figure of pure muscle that moved and breathed beneath his fingers.

He was on her right side; Splinter was on her left—just as they'd been before, only now it was Casey and Raph that anchored her legs to the table, waiting tensely. Leo might've noticed the way Raphael keep glancing up at him, watching his eyes and where they looked, probably noticing how intensely the blue-banded turtle was examining every inch of Karai's figure, but he chose not to acknowledge it. This wasn't about Raph…and it wasn't about him either.

Donnie stood over Karai's head with a dropper he'd filled with the revised retro-mutagen. He glanced around the room at all of them, including Mikey and April who stood farther back, and nodded when he felt they were all ready.

With a sharp breath that he held back behind his puffing cheeks, Donnie positioned the dropper right over Karai's forehead and squeezed out a single drop.

Leo's throat immediately went dry and he tensed, watched too with baited breath as the iridescent blue droplet stole a large span of anticipated time to free fall, slicing through the thickness of the atmosphere as simply as a raindrop on a humid day. And then it contacted its intended surface.

Karai's skin absorbed the chemical like a sponge and the effects were so immediate, it nearly took Leo by surprise.

She thrashed wildly, her back arching against the table, fists curling, muscles jerking beneath his own. He leaned farther over her, pressing his full weight against her arm and gritting his teeth. Raph, Casey, and even Splinter, did the same. Leo grimaced as his ears rang with the inhuman screech that erupted from her chest and he tried not to watch her face. Instead he let his eyes drift to the scales covering her body and noticed them shivering like chimes in a resilient breeze.

His brow furrowed, and he forced himself to remember his job and not let go when the scales lining her neck started falling away and revealing pale, soft, peachy human skin underneath. They trickled to the table and then the floor, bouncing around his feet and filling the lab with a sound like thousands of coins being dropped to the ground in a waterfall effect.

His heart caught in his throat when they started shedding away even more rapidly, peeling from her body to now reveal the entirety of her collarbone.

"Eyes!" he shouted, immediately squeezing his own shut and looking away.

He trusted the rest of them to do the same, and yet wasn't all that surprised when Mikey gave an audible gasp from across the room. But April seemed to cover Raph's job of smacking him over the head and he squeaked out an apology.

Leo waited, listening to the cascade of scales hitting the floor and the tapering of Karai's screams that turned from ear-piercing screeches to very human-sounding gasps and moans of pain, before she quieted the very same instance that she became still and no longer struggled against them.

He was so tempted, so _very_ tempted to look—just to make sure she was still there, still breathing, but the tender consistency of warm skin just beneath his own confirmed both, so he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"April, retrieve a blanket please, quickly," Splinter said in a voice that gave no indication to his state of composure at the moment. He sounded just as cool, calm, and collected as ever.

The motion of April leaving the room was very obvious and she was back almost just as quickly. Leo made sure not to crack an eyelid until she was done fussing with the blanket and it was lying still over Karai's entire figure. Slowly, he opened his eyes and then immediately glanced toward her face, leaning closer to her than he probably meant to, his father and purple-banded brother doing the exact same.

She certainly _looked_ completely normal, no scales whatsoever now. He was tempted to take a peek at her teeth, fairly wary that there might still be fangs hiding behind her lips. But even more so than that, he wished she would open her eyes. But he was far too cautious and trapped in awe to risk waking her and he wasn't sure if Donnie's sedative _had _worn off yet or not. And anyway, in this exact moment, with her lying so completely still and him not having to worry about her gazing back, he felt not at all hurried to turn his eyes away. Her appearance—somehow fierce, bold and tender all at the same time—was just as mystic and alluring as it had been the day they'd met. And he was just as perplexed and speechless as ever. And he realized…

He'd missed her.

Leo blinked when Splinter's hand entered the picture and gingerly plucked a strand of hair from her face and tucked it to the side.

"Do you believe it worked as it fully should have?" he asked, replacing both hands behind his back and glancing up at Donatello who looked very tempted to start poking and prodding and peeking beneath her eyelids with a flashlight.

He shrugged. "So far so good." His eyes glanced over at the clock on the wall. "If I calculated it correctly she should be waking up about—"

His voice was cut off by a gasp that made the lot of them jump back as Karai's eyes shot open and she sat bolt upright.

Leo reacted instinctively, catching the blanket before it could fall away from her chest. For a moment she seemed too engrossed in breathing heavily and whipping her head around to notice. She curled in on herself a little bit, muscles tensing defensively.

"It is alright my child," Splinter said softly, attracting the snap of her gaze.

"F-Father?" she stammered, her voice breathless and wispy, as though she hadn't spoken in months, which…wasn't a far cry from the truth.

Her breathing began to taper to something more mediated, but she continued to switch her gaze, eyes resting on each wide-eyed individual that simply gawked back, until her eyes landed on Leo.

It took a fierce amount of restraint not to tackle her, to throw his arms around her in a protective embrace that might actually assure him twice over that this wasn't a dream—she was really there, really solid, really human. He never thought he'd be so_ happy_ that she was human. And he never knew how much he truly thought her sharp golden eyes were so beautiful.

She just barely glanced away, for the briefest of moments, dropping her eyes a fraction, and then her hands took the edge of the blanket from him, holding it protectively to her own chest.

He blinked, still unable to speak, and took half a step back, an embarrassing heat breaking out over the entirety of his face. His eyes shifted around until they glanced over Casey, April, Mikey and Raph who were all still standing there practically with their mouths open.

He felt it then, the initiative beginning to return, the instinct to be in command of the situation. He rolled back his shoulders and straightened his spine. "Out," he said.

All four of them blinked at him.

"_Now_."

April, Mikey, and Casey obediently turned away, not at all eager to argue, given the current situation. Only Raph hesitated to follow his order.

Leo narrowed his eyes on his brother firmly, and while Raphael responded with a glare of his own, he did no less than follow the others out within the next passing moment.

Leo glanced back at his sensei who nodded once to affirm his doubts, and then the turtle began to back away, eyes automatically falling on Karai who stared back at him with a gaze he couldn't interpret.

"W-We'll go find you something to wear," he assured her. "Master Splinter will explain…Donnie will make sure you're okay."

She only blinked at him, and it took all the self-control he had to leave her there, waves of confusion and complete oblivion passing in quick succession across her face. He had to bite his tongue against whole spreadsheets of explanations and apologies and questions and emotions he'd been dying to admit to her for what seemed like so long, but he couldn't—not now. So he didn't, and he left the lab, and he closed the door, and he turned only to find his brother facing him, their noses inches apart.

For a moment he and Raph just stared each other down, participating in a silent argument that only made Leo curl his hands into fists. He said absolutely nothing to his brother and those persistent, unrelenting green eyes, and turned his gaze on April, who was very unashamedly watching them.

"April, do you think you have something that Karai could wear?"

She blinked herself out of a thought and then nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"Could you run and grab it please?"

She nodded once and started to leave, but he held up a hand to hold her at bay, having to say nothing more. She waited and he turned his eyes back on his brother.

"Go with her, Raph."

Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Why me? Why not Mikey or Casey?"

"Because I said so." Leo turned away before his brother could respond and started for the kitchen.

"You serious?" Raph said to his back. "That's _really_ how this is going to be, Fearless?"

Leo set his jaw but didn't look back. "Just go, Raph," he said before pushing his way past the curtain that would separate him from his brother.

He yanked out the tea kettle from the cabinet and filled it with water then set it on the stove and turned on the eye. He stood nearly stock still then, in a cold silence, counting in his head until he was positive they were gone. Only then did he poke a hand through the curtain and slowly lift it back to peek into the common room. All he could see was Mikey standing by the pit, staring off into the distance as he twisted his fingers together.

Leo sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he let his pulse make whatever stutters and stops seemed necessary. Something settled in the bottom of his stomach, something heavy and yet altogether hollow. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't necessarily want to think about it either. So he stepped out of the kitchen and ventured over to where Mikey stood.

Michelangelo turned at the sound of him approaching, but he didn't immediately crack his usual smile. "What was that about?" he asked, gazing up at his older brother with innocently round blue eyes.

Leo only allowed himself a glance in his direction. "Nothing. Where's Casey?"

"He went with Raph and April, said he was gonna go home. I think he'd had enough for today."

Leo nodded, but said nothing in return. An uncertain silence hung between them for a few passing beats, which was odd. Normally, silence was a rarely visited concept when it came to being in Mikey's presence. However, it didn't last long before the orange-banded turtle glanced toward the lab with a faintly thoughtful gaze.

"You think she's okay?"

Leo gazed toward the lab too, but let nothing on about the unsettled churning of his stomach. "She _seemed_ okay…Just a little shaken maybe. If anything's wrong, Donnie will figure it out," he added confidently.

Mikey hummed. "So d'you think she'll stay this time?"

Leo blinked, turning his eyes on his youngest brother, brow furrowed. He thought about it for a moment and then said, very seriously, "She doesn't have a choice."

Mikey raised a brow. "You gonna hold her against her will or somethin'?"

"No. She can go wherever she wants to. She'll just have to get used to me going with her. I'm not going to let this happen again…I _refuse_ to let it happen again."

Mikey gazed at him strangely for a moment and then nodded as though he understood. "So…" he said slowly. "I guess it's official then."

"What is?"

Mikey shrugged. "We have a sister."

Leo pursed his lips, mulling over this sentence and the way it settled awkwardly in the back of his mind. Maybe to Mikey she would be—some type of sister, if one at all. Maybe to Donnie she _could_ be, if he ever decided to look at her that way. To Raph…Leo was sure she was nothing more than an obstacle—something that stood in his way. And to Leo…He'd never thought of her as a sister, and he never would. At the least she was his friend, but maybe—maybe he could do better than that one day.

But this was Mikey he was talking to, and as much as the blue-banded turtle knew confiding in his brothers made for better results than keeping secrets—Mikey simply didn't need to know. Mikey was too innocent, too _simple_ to know. So he nodded.

"We have a sister."

* * *

><p>They had resorted to paper football and drinking tea. Leo had found he was too distracted even to practice katas, let alone meditate, and since he and Mikey were the only ones in the common room, he had to entertain his little brother somehow.<p>

They were sitting in the very center of the pit, flicking the folded paper at one another until the lab door finally opened after about half an hour and Donnie stepped out.

Leo stood immediately, not even waiting for Mikey to finish his turn, and he was standing anxiously at the edge of the pit before he even realized his feet had moved.

"How is she?"

Donnie adjusted the knot of his mask and then quickly rubbed his eyes. "Embarrassed," he mumbled, "and exhausted, but otherwise perfectly fine. Except…"

Leo frowned. "Except, what?"

Donnie turned his brown eyes on his brother with a glaze of severity. "It's just like what happened with April's dad. She hardly remembers anything about being a mutant. She said the last thing she remembered clearly was falling—into the mutagen, and that's it. But…" Donnie sighed, scratching at the back of his head with a yawn. "She's not just embarrassed, Leo; she's mortified. I wouldn't ask her too many questions about it, or bombard her at all about it. Physically she may be fine, but stress in any form can take its toll, and she's gone through enough."

For a moment, Leo could've sworn he was talking to his sensei, the way Donatello was speaking. He watched his purple-banded younger brother sigh heavily, his shoulders sagging, arms hanging loosely by his sides, eyelids drooping.

Leo pursed his lips. "Go to sleep, Donnie."

Donatello blinked up at him and cleared his throat, faintly shaking his head. "I want to check her vitals again in the next hour or so, just to make sure she's not—"

"Dude," Mikey interrupted, brow furrowed with a hint of concern.

"Donnie," Leo said again. "Go to sleep. It wasn't a suggestion."

"But—"

"Come on, bro." Mikey climbed out of the pit and held out his hand.

Donnie's shoulders sagged even more, lips puckering with a sense of distaste.

"You've done enough, Donnie," Leo said. "In fact, you've done _more_ than enough. Get some rest, _please_."

"For us bro," Mikey insisted, shaking his empty palm adamantly.

Donnie groaned but put his hand in Mikey's and allowed himself to be tugged to his room.

Leo patted his shell as they passed, making sure his brother heard him when he said thank you. Donnie smiled tiredly, glancing once over his shoulder and then he and Mikey were gone around the corner.

It was hardly thirty seconds after this that April and Raph returned.

"Is she still in the lab?" April asked, walking briskly and toting a bulging duffle bag.

Leo nodded, watching her. "Splinter's with her."

April sashayed up to the lab door, knocked and then walked straight in when Splinter opened the door for her. It was closed again, just as quickly, leaving a heavy echo that solidified itself as a second wall between him and Karai.

He sighed, then stiffened when he felt the sensation of a gaze on his neck. He looked over at Raph who was glaring at him with his arms folded.

"What?" Leo demanded.

"Any particular reason you sent _me _away?"

Leo scrunched up his nose and turned away. "No." He plopped down on the bench and folded his legs on top of it. If it weren't for the fact that Karai was in the lab and likely to emerge fairly soon, he'd be putting all his effort into escaping his brother who placed himself directly next to him—eyes still unrelenting.

"What do you want, Raph?"

"Nothing—at the moment…Seems a little weird don't you think?"

Leo didn't take his eyes off the floor. "What does?"

"That she would so conveniently show up on our doorstep when we've been searching for her for months."

"So?"

Raph stiffened. "That doesn't bother you?"

"No."

"Not even the fact that she cut off _our_ power?"

"She didn't know what she was doing."

Leo felt his brother's eyes narrow with that deadpan glare that was so infamous of him. "Right—the way she didn't know what she was doing when she bit you."

The older turtle curled his fists. "She only bit me because I got in the way."

"Yeah, you got in the way of her trying to _eat _Splinter."

He finally snapped his gaze on his younger brother. "Why don't we mutate _you_ into a giant snake and see how you act around Splinter," he said shortly. "Donnie said she doesn't remember anything. She didn't do it on purpose, Raph. You're just paranoid because you didn't think we'd get her back so soon, and you don't want her in the way."

Raph blinked, shrinking back as though he hadn't expected this retort—as though he'd gotten punched in the chest. A faintly hurt frown slipped down to the corner of his mouth. He looked away, shoulders hunched, and didn't respond.

Leo felt his own rigidity melt away. He frowned and looked back down at the floor. He knew how to handle Raph, and the best way to do it was by being as bluntly honest as the turtle in red often was himself.

"You're suffocating me," Leo said, clearly but not meanly.

Raph's shoulders sank, but he still said nothing.

"I know we—had a deal, but she's hardly been back for a whole day, and not even as her normal self. _I_ haven't even been conscious the whole time. Give me a minute to breathe before you start looking at me like you expect something from me…Can you do that?"

He finally turned his eyes back on his brother. Raph's gaze remained far off to the side, sharp, heavy, and frustrated. It took a long weighted moment before he finally looked back at Leo. They stared at each other for a while—a while in which Raph's gaze seemed to soften, if a little reluctantly. He let out a dense sigh.

"How can you trust her so easily?"

Leo furrowed a brow, not having expected this. "It…_isn't_ easy. I'd call it faith more than trust. Why don't you try to get to know her? You'll have the time now. Maybe you'll realize you actually like her."

Raph grimaced, almost as though disgusted by the thought.

Leo rolled his eyes to the side. "Give her a chance, Raph…_Please_."

He watched Raph's jaw flutter before those bright green eyes flickered back on him. "Fine. But you have to answer a question for me."

Leonardo grimaced warily. "What?"

"What do you see in her?"

He blinked, again caught off guard by Raph's choice in question. What did he see in Karai? What _did_ he see in Karai? He forced himself not to release a haughty snort. What _didn't_ he see in Karai, was a more accurate query. He shrugged and pressed his palms into the bench.

"I dunno…What do you see in _me_?"

He gazed at his brother solidly, but Raph could not match his stare for more than five seconds before dropping his gaze again, this time with a slightly resentful crease to his brow. He didn't respond, but this could've been credited to the familiar clatter of the lab door sliding open. Both boys glanced up—Leo automatically standing.

Splinter emerged alone, closing the door behind him. He paused on the step and took in the presence of his two sons before speaking.

"Where is Donatello?"

"I sent him to bed," Leo said.

Splinter nodded as though this was the most relieving news he'd heard all day—which was ironic. "Good…And Michelangelo?"

"He went to make sure Donnie got there."

His sensei nodded again and then let his amber gaze flicker between the two boys and the way they purposely avoided looking at one another though in proximity there was still only a few inches of open air between them, even with Leo now standing.

"Is something wrong?" the great rat asked.

Leo and Raph just barely exchanged glances and both responded with a quick, "No."

Splinter regarded them with a faint glaze of suspicion, but said nothing about it. Instead he turned stiffly, hands behind his back, and started for the kitchen. Leo took a step after him, not entirely on purpose.

"Sensei?"

Splinter immediately looked back, eyes glinting with an emotion that the eldest turtle could not read. "I know you are anxious, my son," he said—almost as though it were routine. "But I must insist that you do not approach Karai tonight. She is in great need of rest and does not wish to be bothered."

Leo's back teeth locked. He said nothing.

"Promise me you will do this my son."

The blue-banded turtle swallowed back a knot of protest and bowed his head. "Hai Sensei."

* * *

><p>He rolled over in his bed, further twisting the sheets around his legs, and sighed at the wall of shadows across from him. He repeated that promise to himself, allowing his obedient and ever-loyal conscience to forbid him from submitting to the yank of his gut.<p>

_Stay in bed, Leo. Don't get up, Leo. You told Master Splinter you wouldn't bother her. You _promised_ him you wouldn't bother her. You looked him straight in the eye, you gave him your word, he gave you an order. _

He closed his eyes and groaned to himself, folding his arms around his torso and digging his fingers into his skin where it was exposed beneath his arms and above the bridge of his shell. The contrast of temperatures between his icy fingers and the searing skin stretched over his ribs made him shiver. He grimaced, then opened his eyes and peered at the wall, repeating his conscience's weakening persuasion: _Don't get up. You promised_…

He turned over again, now helplessly entangled in his sheets and so impossibly far from sleep that he could've jumped up right then and easily sprinted a lap around the city. His stomach clenched impatiently and he pulled his knees up to his chest, practically curled into a ball on his side now.

He glanced at the clock and his insides tightened even further. It wasn't even midnight.

He could feel her presence, like an overcast sky that refused to rain but instead hovered there hour after hour, day after day, providing neither water nor sunshine. And it left a dense haze of imminence that was never fulfilled, an unyielding impatience and aimlessness. He sat up and threw his pillow to the floor then yanked his legs out of the sheets and tossed those too. Then he just sat there, breathing, waiting, suffering for what felt like years.

They'd been waiting so long for this. _He'd_ been waiting so long—just for her to be where she was right now, a few strides away, separated only by concrete walls. And now all he wanted to do was talk to her, look at her, hear her voice. He had to be _absolutely_ sure he wasn't dreaming, that this was real, that everything they'd been struggling over for months had finally paid off. She was safe, but was she _okay_? Was she relieved? Happy? Scared? Maybe as anxious as he was?

He looked at the clock again. It had only been two minutes.

He gritted his teeth, clenched his fists, and then shook his head to himself before sliding out of bed. He tied on his mask - for the sole reason that there wasn't much else to don that would make him feel any less naked - and then slipped out of his room.

The lair was quiet and still—dark. If it had been a normal day, Donnie would still be awake, tinkering away in his lab, but when Leo paused in front of his door he heard the satisfying whistle of his younger brother deep in much needed sleep.

He didn't dare check on Raph. Who knew how long the rebel normally laid in bed staring at the ceiling before finally allowing himself to fall asleep? And there was no need to peek in on Mikey. As high-wired and full of relentless energy that Mikey was when he was awake, simply telling the little turtle to sleep could get him effortlessly there in seconds, no matter how much he might argue that he wasn't tired.

Leo crept silently across the common room, also not daring to go anywhere near the dojo and Splinter's room where he knew his father would emerge the moment he detected the faintest whisper of movement. Leo hardly even dared to breathe as he tiptoed over to the dividers that Karai was supposedly sleeping behind.

He paused in front of them, listening for her specific indicator of sleep—though he wasn't sure what that sounded like yet. He supposed he'd learn fairly soon, but right now, having her here and here to _stay_ was a brand new experience entirely. There was nothing familiar about it.

When he heard nothing, he placed he hand on the edge of the divider, checked over his shoulder, then took a breath and gently pulled it back a few inches.

A small golden flicker of light glanced around the walls of the little space she now claimed as her own. There wasn't much to it yet. They'd eventually acquire more furniture and homely possessions for her to keep as the days passed. For now all she had was candles, a mat, and a sufficient amount of blankets and pillows to make herself comfortable with. She wasn't sleeping.

She was sitting up, legs crossed, back straight, eyes closed, her face expressionless and surprisingly clean. He had never seen her without thick black, pointed lines of make-up framing her eyes, and it was astonishingly appealing. She seemed much more tender, much more—approachable, not only because she'd cleared the maquillage away, but because she no longer donned her usual armored getup. Instead she seemed perfectly comfortable in a pair of sweatpants tied at the waist and a white tank top. It was as though all the accessories that had shielded and solidified her before had been stripped away as easily as the scales had fallen from her skin, leaving behind something natural, soft, and true to what actually lay beneath all the protective covering. And for a moment, he was not only _content_ to simply stare at her, but didn't _realize_ that he was doing so…Until she opened her eyes.

His heart jumped up to his throat and he tensed but didn't move. There was no point. She was staring straight at him, and from the look in her eyes she'd known the exact moment that he'd left his own room.

"I was wondering when you were going to break your promise," she said serenely, all the usual tones of control and mischief attached to her voice.

He hesitated for another moment and then allowed himself to cross the threshold and replace the screen behind him.

"You were listening?" he said, allowing the sound of his voice to cover his movement as he strolled closer and took a seat in front of her, close enough to clearly make her out through the pale light and heavy shadows, but far enough not to invade any kind of bubble she might have made.

"Of course," she said casually. "I've been training and developing my senses as long as you have—longer in fact. I know how to listen in on conversations from the next room."

He didn't smile—but it was intensely hard not to. "How did you know I wouldn't keep my promise?"

She raised a brow. "Did you actually think that you _could_? You might think you're more respectful of Splinter's orders than your brothers are, but to anyone looking in from the outside it's pretty obvious you can easily be just as defiant as they are."

"I'm not _defiant_," he argued. "Just—anxious…It's been a long time, Karai. Can you blame me?"

The bare hint of a smile formed at the corners of her lips. "No. I was counting on it." The smile flickered away just as quickly as it had come and he watched her eyes turn away from his and graze across his face.

She was quiet for a long time and he allowed her to be, saying nothing to break the silence. The compromise he'd made for disturbing her so late was not to ask any questions or be the first to mention anything about what had taken place during the long months of her absence.

"What happened?" she asked, indicating the scars on his face that, until that moment, he'd completely forgotten about.

He frowned and refrained from touching his cheek. "Tigerclaw."

She nodded once in complete understanding before a flash of uneasiness fluttered across her expression—so faint, he almost didn't catch it. "Splinter said you guys did your best to bring me back sooner. But he didn't go into detail about it—said it wasn't important."

She looked directly at him again, with a gaze so heavy and stern that he stopped breathing for a moment. "I have to know though…what I did…"

Leo shook his head, stomach tightening. "You didn't _do_ anything," he said firmly. "You were fast," he added with a faint smile. "You made it hard to keep up. But there's nothing to blame you for."

Her gaze did not relent in the slightest. "Nothing except for biting you."

He tried not to give anything away in his expression, but he couldn't stop himself from automatically laying a hand over the gauze around his forearm, as though to cover it up. "I don't blame you."

"That's nice," she said dryly. "Doesn't mean no one else does."

He grimaced when he realize she'd heard his conversation with Raph too. "That doesn't matter. _I_ was the one you bit, and it was only because I got in your way. I don't blame you."

She stared for a moment as though thinking it through in the back of her mind, but not wishing to expose any truths or suspicions. "You were trying to get me back weren't you—when Tigerclaw did that to you?"

He swallowed. "I _don't_ blame you," he said again, as firmly as he could muster. "And anyway, even if I did there's nothing you could do about it now. It happened and it's done. There's no taking it back. Tigerclaw left a mark, end of story. It's not like he wouldn't have done the same thing under different circumstances. He's just not a nice cat." He shrugged.

At this she finally released something reminiscent of a real smile and it caused a reaction in his stomach, like dropping Mentos in Coke and watching the bottle explode with a sweet and bubbling foam—or the words that he spoke without meaning to.

"I missed you, Karai."

He kicked himself immediately for saying it, but it wasn't like he had never given him and his blushing self away before. It was embarrassing how easily she could do that to him, but—at the same time—he might occasionally choose not to fight it. Not that he particularly enjoyed the way she made his stomach squirm, even though actually…he did.

Her expression, on the other hand, gave away nothing. "I _almost_ wish I could say the same," she said with a smirk.

He smiled, despite the subject, and then completely forgot that he'd promised he wouldn't ask any questions about it. "So you really don't remember _anything_?"

The corner of her lips dropped and he immediately regretted it, but she spoke before he could take the question back, her eyes gazing hazily off to the side.

"Since I woke up, I've been getting flashes—visions of things, but only quick snippets. And nothing more than…"

She stopped, her nose crinkling slightly, and she looked back at him, her eyes taking in his entire presence as he leaned over his own knees without realizing he was doing so. Her brow furrowed and she pushed herself to her knees, brazenly crawling closer to him.

He stiffened and leaned away, his heart beating hard against his plastron as she stopped, her face hovering dangerously close, eyes now closed with a concentrated look to her face. He wasn't sure how long this lasted, but when she finally sat back, he felt like he hadn't breathed in years.

She stared at him through eyes that looked both cautious and intrigued. "You smell like polish."

He blinked—hesitating, mulling this over—and then turned his head ever so slightly over his shoulder to get a whiff of his own scent. There was nothing different about it, and to him it didn't really smell like anything—though he was partly grateful he, at the very least, didn't smell _bad_. He looked forward again, brow furrowed apprehensively.

"Do I?"

She simply blinked. "You know what's funny?"

He shook his head.

"You're just as gullible as you were before all of this."

It took a moment for this to settle in the back of his mind, but when she cracked another grin, he smiled back and they both laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

Mikey squealed as Raph yanked him by the wrist, pulled his arm across his chest and forced him to the floor with all the finesse of a WWE wrestler. He pinned his little brother beneath him, using his elbow to trap Mikey's neck between his arm and plastron, then glanced again across the dojo.

They were smiling—_both_ of them. And it wasn't even smiling really, so much as it was provocative smirking, but in that obviously flirty kind of way. He'd been watching them throughout the whole training session and rarely had they taken their eyes off one another for more than a handful of seconds. Now, locked in nimble sparring it was like they were communicating with one another only in silent combat. And what _was_ with the way they were fighting? He wasn't sure if he'd actually even _call_ it that. It was more like they were performing some toxic form of dance, constantly stepping around each other and diving into the same space at regular intervals, using one another's momentum to keep the overall movement flowing as though it had been previously rehearsed in this exact sequence. Who the shell they thought they were performing for—he had no idea. But he was sure ready to throttle the both of them. Instead, he had to settle for Mikey.

"Raph," the little turtle whined, voice muffled from having his cheek pressed firmly into the rug. He flailed the limbs he could move, but that hardly did him any good. "You're crushing me!"

Raphael didn't answer. He wasn't even paying any attention. His eyes glanced toward the far corner where Splinter was attempting to refine Casey's raw aggression, and then to April and Donnie who were playing with one another much the same way Leo and Karai were, only without the fluidity and seductive undercurrent.

So this was how it was going to be huh? No wonder people sneered, and sighed, and looked the other way when they saw couples holding hands on the street. Love was completely nauseating.

"Raaaaaaaaaph!" Mikey howled. "I can't—breathe!"

Raphael scowled and lifted his weight from his brother only to flip him around, yank him to his feet, land a series of punches on him and then kick him across the room where he collided with Leo and Karai. Their dance was abruptly interrupted, and the three of them hit the floor.

Everyone else stopped to glance over at the heap of limbs as they slowly recovered.

"Ughhh…Sensei? Can we _please_ switch partners?" Mikey groaned, swaying dizzily as he sat up.

Raph stuffed his arms over his plastron and turned his scowl away the moment that Leo's eyes moved to glare at him.

"Raphael," Splinter called, his tone one of warning.

"What? It's not _my_ fault he's got a soft shell."

"I do not!"

"_Jūbun'na_," Splinter interrupted, snipping the bud of an argument like a professional. "Michelangelo, you may work with April and Casey. Leonardo, you take Donatello. Raphael, you may face Karai."

Raph stiffened. His eyes slowly found their way back across the room. Karai had already steadied herself back on her feet and now strolled toward him, not without an air of threatening, though she smiled as though they were about to go out to a movie. Raph's eye twitched and he couldn't help but glance toward Leo who, to say the least, looked slightly devastated. His blue eyes met Raph's, and the leader shifted his gaze in silent communication—_begging_. His expression quite clearly read: Dear Raphael, please don't be an ass.

Raph sneered and looked away, readying himself with his fists up and his stance springy. Karai took the same position as she faced him and continued to smile. They didn't bow to each other as the others did. The last thing Raph was about to give Karai was his respect.

"Hajime!" Splinter called, this time kneeling to watch.

Raph had barely gathered a hint of momentum before Karai sprang forward, darting at him like a shuriken. He just barely avoided a punch to the jaw as he jumped to the side. Gritting his teeth, he rounded on her with a punch of his own, which she ducked effortlessly, coming up from under his arm to nail him solidly in the neck with her forearm and shove him against a wall. He swept a foot beneath her open stance and forced her into a split, backing away as she turned falling backward into a roll, pushed herself up practically in a handstand, and then landed firmly on her feet, fists drawn and at the ready again. She was still smirking, and that only burned a brighter fire in his gut.

He charged first this time, swinging wildly, practically throwing his whole body into every punch, only to be nearly thrown off balance as she quickly and seamlessly dodged each blow.

"You must focus your strikes, Raphael," said Splinter's voice.

Raph's jaw ached with frustrated pressure, but rather than listening, his punches and kicks only became more haphazard and careless, like a blinded child swinging at a piñata. He wouldn't let her hit him either though. Her tactic seemed to be trying to force him to the ground and he wouldn't subject himself to that. Not to say she wasn't doing a fair job trying.

She crouched and swung out one of her long legs. He leapt over it and landed a kick to her shoulder. She was thrown off balance but used this to her advantage by shoving him in the shell with her heel. He toppled forward, and she was on his back within seconds with a successful sleeper hold around his neck. He pulled on her arm, teeth bared, but she only tightened her grip—though not tight enough yet to render him breathless. He tried to buck her off—so tempted to simply flip over and crush her beneath his shell, though something told him a few people would disapprove. But she held on despite, even as he stood…It was like trying to rip a leech from his shell.

"Is it just me," she said in his ear, warm breath skating across his skin, "or am I picking up some negative vibes?"

His growl came out more as a snarky scoff. "Negative vibes? Toward _you_? Never."

He threw his elbow into her stomach, and the hold around his neck immediately vanished as she grunted and stumbled back. He whipped around, fist raised, aiming straight for her pretty little face.

"Yame!"

He froze, panting slightly, and immediately began to shift through his mental book of defenses and arguments, sure that the fight had been stopped on account of a foul or two. But when he turned around, he found that wasn't necessary.

Donatello was kneeling on the floor vomiting and shaking his head to an apologetic Leo. April rushed to kneel beside him and patted his shell, speaking so softly that Raph didn't catch it.

"Just got…a little dizzy," Donnie managed to gasp before heaving again.

"That is enough for today," Splinter said. He shot an order to Mikey in Japanese, insisting that he run off for a bucket, which Mikey hardly hesitated to obey.

Donatello mumbled an apology and Splinter laid a hand on his shoulder. "You must give yourself time to recover, my son. There is no apology necessary. You are improving, but to move too quickly into your old habits will only set you back. Rest for now."

Mikey came back with the bucket and April and Leo pulled Donnie to his feet and kept him supported as they walked slowly out of the dojo. Mikey led the way walking backward, holding out the bucket beneath Donnie's chin. Splinter followed and Casey was right behind them.

Karai began to leave as well, but the moment she moved Raph shot out an arm to block her path, nearly punching the wall next to them with the force he used to cut her off. She stopped, glancing down at his arm which ran parallel with her shoulders. Then she turned her attentive golden eyes on him.

"Let's get one thing straight right now," he said, his eyes tight on her. "You've made yourself a nice little reputation putting my family through all kinds of shit, and just because you've switched sides, doesn't mean I'm just gonna drop everything that's happened and pretend like you're my friend. I don't trust you. Fair?"

She nodded once but said nothing. He could've sworn he saw the smallest glimmer of a smile on her lips. Even if not, she was entirely too serene and composed in the face to be at all threatened by him. This made him bristle.

"I'm watching you, alright princess?" He dropped his arm and stepped closer, practically putting his face in hers. She didn't twitch a single muscle.

"And listen, if you do anything—_anything_ at all to manipulate or hurt Leo in any way…I'm coming after you. Got it?"

She finally blinked once upon him mentioning his older brother, but once the threat was out it was succeeded by a faint smile and a curt nod. "Understood."

He narrowed his eyes. "You think this is a game, don't you?"

"It's certainly entertaining," she said openly. Soon after this, however, she dropped her smile and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm not going to hurt Leo, Raphael. Not after everything he's done for me. On that I give you my word."

He hesitated, staring her down, half fearful that for a moment it looked like she actually meant it. "Pain isn't always physical," he said flatly. And with that he turned away and left the dojo.

* * *

><p>Leo was staring down at the ground as he made his way back into the dojo with a bucket of hot water and carpet cleaner—a rag slung over his shoulder—but his eyes automatically glanced up upon passing Raph in the doorway. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, during which Raph's narrowed gaze stung like a burn from a magnifying glass. They didn't speak to one another and the second was gone just as quickly as it had come, but only Leo hesitated, watching his brother storm off before he turned away himself and proceeded into the dojo.<p>

Karai was still there, arms folded loosely over her torso, eyes cast to the side as though in thought.

Leo's throat went dry as he tried not to think of infinities of undesirable mishaps that might occur in a room in which Raph and Karai were left alone. Instead he smiled at her when she glanced up and advanced to kneel and clean up Donnie's mess.

"So not the cleanest training session," he said with a conversational shrug, "but he's been getting better. Last time we sparred we were hardly fifteen minutes in before he flat out passed out."

He continued to scrub the floor but watched discreetly out of the corner of his eye as Karai wandered toward him and stood only a few feet away, staring down at the floor.

"He'll be okay?" she said distantly—awkwardly—like she'd never asked a question of concern before.

Leo flashed her a comforting smile. "He's a tough nut. It may not seem as much at first glance, but Donnie can fight his way through anything."

A moment of silence stretched between them in which Karai said nothing. In fact, she appeared as though she hadn't really heard, or else didn't care to respond. But just before he could pause and ask her what was up she dropped her arms.

"Your brother doesn't like me," she said in a tone that was almost uncomfortably matter-of-fact.

He glanced up at her, a ripple of chills cascading down his arms as his stomach quite oppositely burned. He tried not to let his frustration in his brother show on his face. "Which one?" he asked coyly, though he knew very well who she was talking about.

"Raphael."

He forced a reassuring grin to the corner of his mouth. "I wouldn't worry about it," he said, returning to scrubbing the floor. "Raph can be a bit stand-offish until you really get to know him…And even then sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not he really tolerates anybody. If it makes you feel any better—he doesn't like me either."

She raised a brow but didn't comment.

When after a while he could still feel a sense of disturbance about her, he dropped the rag in the murky bucket water and sat back on his heels.

"Seriously, Karai, don't let it bother you. It's just Raph."

She turned her golden eyes down on him and scoffed as though half amused. "It's not _him_ that bothers me. He's the only one here that makes me feel normal. Everyone else has been so nice—and it's weird. I don't really know how to respond…The little one made me breakfast this morning."

Leo laughed. "That's just the way Mikey is. He's insanely hospitable, and even more so forgiving. He'd probably sit down for a pizza with the Kraang if they offered."

This only made her grimace more intense, more confused. She sat down, crossing her legs, leaning slightly forward with an air of intention. "And Donatello? I know that he spent all that time making the retro-mutagen for me…Why would he do that?"

Leo blinked, his smile falling. This really _did_ bother her. "Because…" He hesitated, eyes shifting. "Because it's _Donnie_." He shrugged. "That's what he does. He helps people."

"He keeps giving me check-ups to make sure my heart's beating like it's supposed to," she said, as though this was the most bizarre habit she'd ever happened upon.

Leo had to admit, in a way it was kind of cute. "He's also thorough. It gets annoying sometimes, but it's a good quality to have. He likes knowing that he's done his job right."

She pursed her lips, still not entirely convinced. "And you?"

He gave an involuntary chuckle, dragging a finger around the rim of the bucket. "I've always liked you, Karai."

His grin dropped the moment her name left his lips and he glanced away, a rosy heat skating across his cheeks. "I mean…We've—you know…It's just…" He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled nervously.

The smallest of grins hid beneath her cheeks and she looked away toward the full-grown tree as though pondering its presence. He felt himself breathe a little easier and refrained from fanning the heat from his face.

"So…What did he say to you?" he asked cautiously.

She looked back at him and shrugged. "He just let me know he doesn't trust me."

The fire immediately rekindled in his stomach, but he didn't react to it. He nodded instead. "It's not just you. He has trust issues in general."

Her smile became more prominent. "I admire his ferocity," she said. "He's really determined to protect you guys."

The flame burned out like a snuffed candle upon hearing this, and he furrowed his brow. He wouldn't have gone the route of considering that Raph simply wanted to protect him—_them_. It was…an interesting way to put it. So maybe that red-banded hot-head wasn't a _complete_ jerk…At least not all the time.

"Well that's—Raph." He smiled, a genuine smile now, and returned to scrubbing the carpet.

* * *

><p>Later on that night, Leo volunteered to check on Donnie, bringing the tea and medication Splinter insisted enter the room with him.<p>

He found his younger brother curled up against a wall of pillows on one corner of his bed, wrapped snugly in a navy comforter with a physics book in his hands. He'd pulled his mask down around his neck and left his gear in a neat pile on the floor. Somehow, it seemed even if Donnie were to throw a sheaf of loose notebook paper on the ground, the mess would still feel organized in some way.

"Sorry about early, Leo," said the young terrapin, looking up from his book. "Didn't mean to make you clean up after me."

Leo set down the items he'd brought and took a seat on the edge of his brother's bed, smiling softly. "Don't worry about it. You feeling better?"

Donnie nodded and glanced back down, flipping a page. "I'm fine." He sighed. "Splinter's probably going to make me stay in bed for the next ten years, but I suppose I'll live."

Leo patted a hill in the blanket that was his brother's knee.

"How are _you_?" Donnie asked, looking away from his text again.

The older turtle sighed and scooted further toward the center of the bed, leaning against his brother's legs as he stared at the wall. "Raph's putting up a fight."

Don smiled. "Well it is Raph."

"But that's just it. He's not fighting with _me_, he's fighting with Karai—subtly, but I can't imagine it'll be much longer before he really lets loose on her."

"She's competition. You know how Raph gets when he has competition."

Leo groaned and rested his chin on Donnie's knee, looking over at his younger brother now. They stared at one another quietly for a moment, a moment in which no time and all time seemed to pass at the same time. And then Leo sighed, frowning. "What if she doesn't like me?"

Donnie tilted his head. "Why wouldn't she?"

Leo raised a brow and waved his hand, wiggling his fingers.

"I mean besides that."

"That's all the reason she needs, Don. But what if I don't get anywhere with her? What if I _do_ decide I like Raph, but by that time he hates me so much he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? What then? I'd have to live the rest of my life with those two turning their backs to me, and I wouldn't be able to escape it."

He grimaced and then continued in a whisper, "What if I end up alone, Donnie?"

Donatello's smile was soft, generous—patient. "That's the last thing that would happen, Leo."

Leo couldn't help the pucker that came to his bottom lip and he buried his nose against the fabric covering Donnie's knees, still peeking over at him.

His genius-of-a-brother chuckled and laid his book face down, sitting up straight now. "Well…What if we _both_ get rejected?"

Leo furrowed his brow. "Yeah?"

Donnie's brown eyes hovered on him for a moment then fell to the side and shifted around before coming back to him with a faint glaze of timidity. "I'll still be here for you—if you're still here for _me_. Like a plan B," he shrugged. "That way we're guaranteed never to be alone."

Leo dropped his gaze for a second, thoughtfully, then looked back up to his younger brother and mumbled, "Promise?"

Donnie smiled—the kind of smile that was so adorably unique to him. "I promise."

A surge of affection swelled up in Leo's chest and he sat up and pulled his brother close, burying his nose in his shoulder. It was comforting, knowing at least _something_ was certain and solid in this world. He never had to guess with Donnie, and that was more relieving than he ever thought it could be.

He sighed against his brother's skin, smiling when Donnie returned the embrace with tender arms. "Don't ever go anywhere, Donnie."

Donatello chuckled. "Of course not…But you might want to try making your move on Karai, _and then_ get cold-shouldered by Raph before you go committing yourself to _me_. Though, for what it's worth, it _is_ rather flattering."

Leo picked up his head and faced his brother with a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**Funny, that the moment I decided I'd update, FFN decided to lock the door on everyone's accounts. *shrug* This is why I carry a distaste for technology and all its imperfections. Also...turtle luck :P But anyhow, we're all back, the world still turns, and you get two chapters this time :) Have fun! And let me know what you think.**

* * *

><p>It could have been perfect.<p>

It could have been a change that brought true betterment to their family, tied them closer together, encouraged them to open their minds to more possibilities than living their entire lives cooped up in the sewers with only the four of them and their sensei. It could have been fun. It could have been a change that brought him real peace and contentment for the first time in months. But no…And why?

Because Raphael could never allow anything to be easy.

They were going on weeks now that Karai had made herself comfortable in their home and Raph still went as stiff as a board when she walked into the room. He still removed himself from the equation when they tried to eat together, or watch a movie together, or play a game together. _Anything_ that wasn't training and might've involved both him and Karai, he bowed out of. Instead of kicking Mikey out of his seat at the table, he took his plate to his room. Rather than nearly decapitating everyone with pillows to force his right to pick the movie, he curled in on himself in the darkest corner of the common room and pretended none of them were there. And forget about him rolling those green eyes of his in that exasperated, yet secretly interested, way he did when one of his brothers suggested a board game. The last time they'd volunteered Mikey to try to persuade him to join in on _Scene It!_ Raph had completely turned a cold shoulder on him.

Leo wanted to enjoy the fact that Karai was with them, that she was a part of the family, that she was safe and happy and could finally enjoy herself—honestly he did. But that stubborn, tantrum-throwing, wall-building, red-banded, antisocial child that he called a brother was ruining _everything_.

And it wasn't that Raph ever followed up on directly reiterating to Karai that he didn't like her. In fact, as far as Leo knew, he hadn't said another word to her—_nor_ to Leo himself for that matter, and this pissed him off even more. So much so in fact that he found himself spending less and less time bothering with Raph and more time ranting to Donnie every moment that he could—pacing, whining, and kicking things around so often that Donnie had started to leave empty cardboard boxes lying in very convenient spots around the lab.

"It's completely unfair," Leo exclaimed after punting a box nearly clear across the room. "He's acting like he's ten years old or something. I mean, what does he expect her to do? Do we have to ask her to pack up her stuff and take a hike because Raph is _uncomfortable_?"

Donnie said nothing for a moment. He seemed far too enveloped in his repairs on the Patrol Buggy—but of course Leo knew better than to assume Donnie wasn't listening. Donnie _always_ listened. It was simply a matter of stealing a greater percentage of his attention away from his current project.

"Can you hand me the torque wrench?" he said from the floor, blindly reaching out a grease-smeared hand as he kept the other under the belly of the buggy and continued to tug at its parts with a concentrated furrow to his brow, tongue poking out.

Leo strolled closer and crouched by the toolbox that had made it about two feet out of Donnie's reach. He plucked out the first instrument that he thought might've been some form of a wrench. "This one?"

Donnie glanced at it quickly. "Exactly—but smaller."

Leo pursed his lips and dug around before pulling out a smaller version of the first tool and slapped it in his brother's open palm. Don muttered a thanks and twisted his face into a grimace of determination as he worked to loosen something beneath the buggy.

"Are you sure this is about Karai?" he grunted after a moment.

Leo blinked and shot a bewildered gaze at his brother who completely missed it. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Donnie sighed, successfully yanking free a bolt and setting it on the floor next to him. "I think—and I'm speaking mostly from observational knowledge of certain habitual tendencies—you and Raph have a very particular way of reacting to one another."

Leo furrowed a brow, watching his brother's muscles tense again as he attacked another bolt. "You're gonna have to elaborate, Don."

Donnie tugged the second bolt free much quicker this time and sat up to lean his shell back against the buggy. He picked up a grimy rag and one of the bolts and began wiping it down. "What I mean is that you and Raph share a—symbiotic bond, of sorts. So, say everything's running smoothly, everything's going great—you're happy. Ninety-seven percent probability says, Raph's going to be happy too. And, quite oppositely, if something is rubbing Raph the wrong way—like in this particular instance—of course you're going to be struggling to find a sense of peace. I genuinely think, right now…You simply miss his smile."

Leo blinked. "I'm sorry?"

Donnie gave a nonchalant shrug. "You want Raph to like Karai right?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Leo's gaze shifted as he mulled this over, but when he remained silent, Donnie filled in the gap.

"Is it because you think she deserves to be liked? Or because you want Raph to be at ease with her around?"

Leo blinked and looked back at his brother with a slightly troubled gaze. Donatello smiled and said nothing as he returned to his work.

It was a puzzle—and an infuriating one at that, so much so that he decided to just forget it. Forget Raph and his attitude and his refusal to be nice for once. Leo didn't have to feel guilty. He didn't have to feel tied down. He had a choice and Raph himself had given him that choice—_promising_ that he wouldn't put up a fight. So why _shouldn't_ Leo do what he wanted? On the forefront, he couldn't see a reason. So he pried his red-banded brother away from his focus the way one might rip a price tag off of a gift. And instead he resolved to focus on the thing he _should_ have been paying attention to.

* * *

><p>"There are vending machines <em>everywhere<em>. As long as you've got money on you, you'll never starve and you'll never go thirsty. And there are the standard ones that spit out sodas, or waters, or chips. But there are also some you can get alcohol from and there was one right around the corner from where I lived that had eggs."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not. Oh, and I've still yet to have sushi here that even _compares_ to what they have in Japan. I've had better sushi from a convenience store there than I've had at some of the nicer restaurants like a block away."

He chuckled. "Well that's a given."

"The bullet train is way faster than subways and feels a lot more convenient, to be honest. There are power lines _everywhere_, but you kind of get used to them and after a while they're almost unnoticeable. But the temples and castles are amazing. My favorite is the Osu Kannon temple in Nagoya, mostly because of the color. Oh and there are festivals for everything. There's at least one every month. And I haven't decided whether or not I like it best in the fall or spring. The colors of the leaves in autumn are beautiful, especially set against the mountains. But when the cherry blossoms bloom in the spring…There's just nothing to compare it to."

He smiled, staring up at the ceiling and imagining his gaze painting a picture of all of this, like a window he could look through to peek upon the opposite side of the world. They were in her room, lying on their backs shoulder to shoulder, Leo with one hand behind his head on the pillow they were sharing. He wasn't sure what time it was, only that he knew it was late and they'd already been talking for a good two hours. He couldn't believe all the places she'd been, but had to admit to himself so far, Japan sounded like the most compelling place to be, though he wasn't sure how much influence his sensei had already had on his opinion about it.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

"Sometimes," she admitted with a shrug. "There are things about the country and the culture itself that I miss, but I had nothing there to leave behind. And it's interesting here."

He smirked. "Interesting?"

"Well I didn't exactly run into mutants and aliens on a day-to-day basis when I was in Japan. Though, I won't lie, there were some pretty off-the-wall people…I think you'd love it."

He nodded vacantly. "I'm sure I would."

They were silent for a moment before she spoke again. "What else do you want to do?" she asked, turning her face toward him. "Like if you could do anything or go anywhere you wanted to, what would you do and where would you go?"

A small smile crept up on the corner of his mouth, but he shook his head against the thought. "It's—embarrassing…"

She scoffed. "You couldn't possibly be any more embarrassed than you should be every morning you wake up," she teased. "Come on, tell me."

He sighed and pressed his lips together hesitantly, then closed his eyes. "Don't laugh okay?"

"You have my word."

"Okay…I've always wanted…" He stopped, sighed again, and turned to look at her. "It's stupid."

"Leo, come on. If you don't cough it up, I'll beat it out of you."

He smirked. "Is that a threat or a promise?"

Her grin turned up daringly, but she said nothing.

"Times Square," he said.

She raised a brow.

"I want to go to Times Square—in the middle of the day…and just stand there." He turned his gaze back toward the ceiling, aware of her attentive eyes on the side of his face. "And fly—in an airplane. And I do want to go to Japan—and see where Splinter grew up. I want to know what cherry blossoms smell like. And I want to go to a supermarket—"

"A supermarket?" she interrupted. "What the hell for?"

He chuckled. "I've heard there's many ways to entertain yourself at a Walmart."

She snorted. "Yeah, only because people have nothing better to do with their lives."

He continued to smile. "But it'd be nice to have that choice in a moment of boredom, you know? When we get bored here during the day there's nothing to do except get on each other's nerves. At least in a Walmart you can walk around and annoy other people."

"I never took you for the type that enjoys pushing buttons."

"Well no." He shrugged. "But Raph and Mikey would enjoy it, I think."

"Yeah…What else?"

He shifted, making himself more comfortable. "I want to live in a house - like with windows and a porch or something. And wear shoes…" He peeked down at his feet and the stained, frayed wrappings encasing them. He waved them back and forth a couple of times as though in greeting to himself, then looked back at the ceiling. "Just so I can take them off before I walk into a room…" He took a breath, but then went quiet again.

"What?"

He could feel the familiar sensation of warm blood rushing to his cheeks. It burned his skin, while somehow simultaneously making the air either too thick or too thin to breathe normally. "Well…It'd be nice if…"

"If what?"

He sighed. "If I met someone that—I dunno…" He shrugged. "Someone that could maybe overlook what I am and _possibly_…love me." With this he glanced at her, but she was still staring at the ceiling, her expression perfectly composed and serene, unchanged.

"All of that is so simple," she said.

His stomach dropped, but he nodded, turning his gaze straight again.

"Kind of ironic," she went on. "With all the stuff you get to do—fighting aliens and chasing down mutants and running around New York City every night leaping off of buildings…And you just want to wear shoes and stand in the middle of Times Square."

The corner of his lips pulled downward and he could feel himself automatically trying to shrink into his shell. "I told you it was stupid," he mumbled.

"It's not," she said matter-of-factly. "In fact, it's sensible. So much so that, to be honest, it's a little sad."

He nodded. "Freedom is a limited concept."

She was silent for a moment, as though thinking about this. "You know what's funny though?"

"What?"

"All that time I spent with the Foot Clan, basically going wherever I wanted and doing whatever I wanted so long as it didn't get in my—in the Shredder's way and/or so long as it benefited his whole vendetta thing…I never had as much fun as I've had here with you and your brothers."

A tiny smile lifted in the very corner of his mouth—one he didn't realize had come into existence. "One is a lonely number…"

That very same smile dropped as his own words repeated themselves in his mind. He shifted his gaze sideways, glancing at her out of the corners of his eyes. She was still staring at the ceiling. "Can I ask you a—a personal question?"

Her tawny eyes turned toward him with defensive curiosity—though she still cocked a grin. "Go for it."

He could feel the blush blooming in full across his cheeks and hoped she wouldn't notice through the shadows. "Well…I was wondering—I mean, I was just kind of curious, if you…if you've ever had—a boyfriend."

She laughed—a very natural, very uncensored laugh that made his throat tighten. "I'm sorry. I just had a thought. Could you imagine," she chuckled, "me bringing home a boy and introducing him to the Shredder?" She laughed some more and then wiped joyous tears from her eyes with a sigh. "The answer is no, I haven't."

His brow perked up. "Really?"

She shrugged. "I was never really the type of girl to form relationships. I mean, look at the man that raised me."

"Shredder loved Tang Shen," he pointed out, almost sickened by the fact that in some twisted context he was defending his father's sworn enemy.

"He was also a psychopath and the one that killed her," Karai said bitterly.

Leo pressed his lips together to keep from saying anything_ else_ potentially stupid.

"I mean, Splinter loved my mother too, but neither of them got what they wanted in the end so what's the point of it?" She turned her head to face him directly, honest indifference shimmering in her eyes.

His insides knotted. "Well," he stuttered. "I mean, Splinter did get _you_ out of it. They both did, in a way."

She stared at him, her expression unreadable but not quite satisfied.

Leo took a shaky breath and continued. "Sensei says that love is the thing that holds us together, gives us something to fight for, and without it we would have no purpose."

At this her eyes finally shifted, as though truly in contemplation of this idea. A tiny flicker of hope began to spark in the center of his chest just beneath his plastron. He decided to reach out into the fog, hope that he caught onto something.

"Maybe that's why you were—unsatisfied when you were with the Shredder."

"Maybe," she mumbled, eyes glazed over and unseeing.

He watched her as she stared off to the side for a while, then his eyes traveled across her face to her peach-colored lips, remembering how they used to be red, ogling over the shape of them, her upper lip thinner than her bottom one, and the way they so blatantly stood out on her face just above her chin. They looked soft, inviting, especially whenever they curled up into that taunting smirk of hers. He wondered briefly if she'd ever spent time practicing that smirk or if it just came to her naturally—or whether or not she was aware of the way it looked on her. He wondered what she tasted like. _Was_ there a taste to humans when they were kissed? He thought back over all the TV shows and romantic comedies he'd ever watched and tried to recall whether or not at least _one_ of them mentioned the taste.

His heart beat a little faster.

"Were you lonely?" he asked suddenly, as though his voice and brain were somehow working out of sync.

She looked back at him with a whole nexus of complexities behind the very first layer of her golden irises, complexities he feared he'd never understand. "No," she said flatly.

He furrowed his brow, not the least bit convinced. "BS."

She cocked an eyebrow and smirked, but said nothing.

"You don't have to be anymore, you know," he said, trying not to allow the nerves to escape through his voice. "Lonely, I mean."

She chuckled softly. "I'm aware. Pretty much everyone here has made that—almost _painfully _clear."

"Sorry. They can be—overwhelming at the worst of times."

She shook her head. "I don't mind it as much as you'd think."

He couldn't speak anymore; he had no idea what to say. So he only laid there on his side now, staring at her as she stared back at him, both with eyes unblinking. And he was amazed that she couldn't hear his heart beating erratically behind his plastron.

Her nose twitched, just the slightest bit—a motion hardly even noticeable. But it was suddenly intensely endearing for some reason. And he felt his muscles move before he could really stop to consider how many lines he was crossing. He simply wasn't thinking this time when he pushed himself forward and pressed his lips against hers…But he certainly wished he had been.

She pulled away immediately, hardly even giving him a moment to process what a kiss really even felt like. And the half-astonished, half-repulsed look on her face made him regret it instantly.

They turned away from each other at the same time, both sitting up and facing the opposite direction, both speaking over one another in a fluster of words.

"Leo…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"I like you. I do, but…"

"…wasn't thinking…"

"I just don't think that…"

"I mean, I kind of like…"

"…because it's just…"

"…since we met and it's…"

"Weird."

He blinked, stopping midsentence and turned to stare at her.

They had somehow gotten to standing now, a considerable distance away from one another, Karai with her arms loosely wrapped around her torso and her eyes heavy on him—solid, with just a hint of remorse. The kind of look people give when they feel bad that their decision has stolen something, yet they're sure they won't change their mind.

His heart, still beating quickly, now felt like an iron ball hitting his plastron repeatedly from the inside. And a shard of it had managed to get lodged in his throat.

"Weird?" he croaked, shuffling a step back as tingling waves of rejection rippled through his skin with a fine heat. He felt his hand clench in a fist and was hyperaware of it hovering over his stomach—three-fingers, cold sweat and all.

Karai sighed, now gazing at him out of flat pity. His stomach turned sickeningly. "Leo, I told you. I'm not that type of girl. And…" She glanced down once and when she looked back she never took her eyes from him again. "I know I've probably led you on a few times in the past. And I'm sorry for that."

He grimaced and looked away, but she continued.

"It's just—I mean, it was really easy, Leo. And at the time there were things I needed from you. I was just doing what I was taught…" She broke off for a brief moment as a wave of sorrow cut through her voice. But she seemed to swallow it back down effortlessly and went on. "Really, Leo, I am sorry. And I don't want you to think I don't care about you, because I do. You're extremely important to me. It's just that…I mean you're…"

He looked back at her finally, breath shortened significantly, but at this point he wasn't trying to reel it back in either. He furrowed his brow at her. She was gesturing to him…That was all he needed to understand.

An immediate sting came to his eyes and he backed away, his fist unfurling to cover the spot on his plastron were his heart resided just beneath, as though protecting him from any more blows that might befall it.

"A mutant," he whispered, finishing her sentence, though he hadn't meant to think so verbally.

Her head shook frantically. "No, Leo, that's not what I meant. I mean…It's not that—"

He realized very suddenly that he didn't want to hear the rest, that none of it mattered because it wouldn't erase away the look she'd just give him. So he cut her off with a stiff bow, arms anchored by his sides.

"I apologize," he said formally, ripping all emotion from his voice for this brief moment. "I did not mean to take advantage of you in any way. I'll leave now."

"Leo…"

He'd already straightened his spine and turned and was closing the divider behind him before she could call out his name again.

She didn't follow him out and he was glad. But he walked swiftly across the lair and into the shadows of the archway leading to his and his brothers' rooms before he stopped and looked back, allowing the breath he'd been holding to escape him in a particularly loud and pained kind of gasp. He cupped a hand over his mouth and squinted through his blurred vision, trying not to feel how heavy his pulse still was, now having traveled up to his ears.

He turned away from the direction of Karai's room and skirted back through the common room toward Donnie's lab, wasting no time in closing himself in the room and then turning to find his younger brother asleep slouched over his desk, his cheek pressed against a scatter of marked papers and a pencil lying slack in his half-opened hand.

Leo swallowed, slightly subsided for a moment by the scene of his sleeping brother. He couldn't wake Donnie up. Donnie deserved sleep and it was a rare thing to find him like this. Not even for the condolence of his freshly broken heart would he disturb his brother's dreams.

He crossed the lab, knees trembling beneath him. They always kept extra blankets stashed away in the lab for occasions such as these. Leo dug one out and draped it over his brother's shoulders, tucking the corners around him to make sure it wouldn't slide off his shell if he moved. He brushed a hand across the top of his brother's head and then left before the blur could overwhelm his vision.


	12. Chapter 12

He was going to go to his room, bury himself beneath his blankets and make himself fall asleep before the emotions could engulf him. It was a good plan. It would work. He'd probably feel more alone than ever, but whatever. He'd be fine in the morning right? Sure, he'd be fine in the morning. She was just a girl, just a tease, just a destroyer of hope that was all.

He stopped halfway down the hall to his room and found himself staring at Raph's door. He couldn't recall telling himself to pause here. He couldn't recall telling himself to knock either. And he had no idea what was compelling him to wait as an irritated, sleep-filled groan ensued from inside the room. It was followed by a crash of cymbals and a muffled curse, and the door flung open, mask-less Raph leaning all of his weight against the frame as though he'd stumbled into it.

He squinted, staring for a moment as though he wasn't really processing what he was looking at. Then scoffed when he seemed to realize it was Leo standing in front of him. He rolled his eyes and leaned with his shoulder now.

"You really are fearless," he taunted, rubbing his eyes. "There'd better be a good reason for this."

"I kissed Karai," Leo blurted before he could stop himself. Why this, why now, why to _Raphael_ of all people, he had _no_ earthly idea. Wasn't this the guy he could've sworn he was full-heartedly _against_ ten minutes ago?

Raph stared at him, now looking considerably awake. He said absolutely nothing for the longest time as his bright green eyes adhered themselves quite strongly to the blue-banded turtle's face but with no emotion behind them whatsoever. After an unbreathable moment came and passed, he stood up straight, poked his head farther out into the hallway and glanced down both ends. He must've been satisfied with what he either did or didn't find because in the next second he snatched Leo by the ridge of his plastron and yanked him into the room, closing the door tightly behind them to lock them in a box of near darkness.

Leo stumbled as Raph, almost brutally, shoved him across the room, and the older turtle flinched when his brother marched up to him, pointed at the edge of the bed and said, "Sit."

Leonardo obeyed, though he couldn't explain to himself why.

"What was that you said?" Raph asked, leaning close with his ear angled just right.

Leo pulled in a breath. "I kissed Kar—"

He was cut off, not only by the deafening _sound_ of a slap but by the sting of one too. He gazed over his brother's shoulder with a grimace as the pinpricks of pain burned like microscopic flames spreading across his cheek.

Even with the ringing in his ears he could hear Raph shouting, "Who in God's great and glorious name told you that was okay?!"

Leo turned his eyes on his brother and said nothing. Not that Raph really gave him the chance to.

"Dammit…I _knew_ that you were gonna be a little slow catching up, but I didn't think you'd be this stupid! I mean what—?!" He stopped, mouth open but without the accompaniment of sound. He clenched his teeth and growled, turning away to pace in a circle and drag his hand over his head. "Oh my god," he groaned, leaning his head back toward the ceiling before he snapped back at Leo. "Why did you do it?"

Leo's head shook on its own. "I don't know," he heard himself mumble.

"She didn't take it well did she?"

His head shook again as mortified chills rushed up his arms.

"Leo, you just…"

Raph crouched for a moment, burying his face in his hands, and then he stood again just as quickly, gesturing dramatically toward the door. "_What_ were you expecting to accomplish? Did you think she'd confess her love to you or something?! This is Karai we're talking about. _Karai!_ I'm surprised you're not bleeding out of your ears! Hell, I'm surprised she didn't break your ass in half!"

He paused, fuming even in his silence, hands on his hips. Then he lashed out with a second slap twice as forceful as the first. "What were you thinking?!"

Leo bared his teeth, ignoring the sting. "I wasn't!" he shouted back, fists now curled on his thighs. "I _wasn't_ thinking okay? It just happened!" He shot up a hand just as Raph's flinched. "Slap me again; I_ dare_ you!"

Raph's jaw rippled, but he stepped back, now crossing his arms over his chest, staring down his nose.

Leo looked away, squinting his eyes to keep the angry blur from spreading. His body shook but he refused to relax. He felt if he loosened his muscles, a bevy of very unwanted emotions would tumble out of him in an avalanche. He gripped the edge of the bed now, clenching the already rumpled sheets tightly. He tightened his jaw and focused all of his energy on holding his tears back. And yet somewhere in his sense of awareness he could feel Raph softening, green eyes still watching him.

And then he heard his sigh. "What did she say to you?"

Leo sucked in a calming breath, forcing the knot back down in his throat and let it out slowly, evenly, before he answered. "She said…" He grimaced. "She said she's not the type of girl to bother with relationships, and that it's—weird because I'm…a freak and she was only leading me on before when she needed to because that was the way she was raised, and I feel like an idiot!" He dropped his face in his hands and shuddered.

Raph said nothing for a while, so Leo took this as a nod to continue speaking. "I feel like…I just…I feel—_used_."

When he picked up his head and realized his palms were wet he curled his fingers over them.

He looked up at his brother desperately, as though hoping he might understand, and yet still in the back of his mind he wondered why Raph.

Raphael's gaze was troubled but not yet soft.

"I mean, is that what we are, Raph?" Leo questioned, now ignoring the tears that rolled down his cheeks. "Just freaks here to be used as pawns in other people's games?"

Raph's brow creased even further and it seemed he was back in front of Leo in one long stride, kneeling and taking Leo's wrists to pull his hands away from rubbing his face. They gazed at each other for a long time. Raph's eyes were strong—fiery.

"No," he said. Leo searched his gaze and found no waver to it. "I'm not a pawn. And neither are you. That's bullshit. And so what if we are freaks?" He shrugged. "You can't get any better, in my opinion. Freak is the highest honor. We're mutant turtles, man—_ninja_ turtles. Own up to it!"

He gently scraped a knuckle under Leo's chin, tilting it up. The smallest of smiles broke out in Leo's cheeks. Raph grinned back.

"I'm so tired of you guys thinkin' that being mutants is a bad thing. Dude, it's the best thing we could possibly be! It's the best thing _anyone_ could possibly be, and you know what, I feel sorry for everyone who isn't. So suck it up, Fearless. You're just gonna have to deal with people who can't measure up."

Leo's smile grew more prominent and he wiped the rest of his tears away. "Don't I already do that?" he teased.

"Jackass," Raph said over a chuckle, pounding a fist on Leo's knee. It didn't hurt like the slaps. This physicality was Raph's show of affection. There was a difference in the force behind it.

Raph stood, and Leo followed his lead, allowing his brother to pat his shoulder. "And listen, Leo, I hate to have to be the one to tell you this and probably ruin an image, but I'll try to forgive myself for it later. Girls are devious; they're manipulative; they scheme. That's just what happens. Sometimes they can't even help it, and _we_ certainly can't either. They're like cats." He made an act of shuddering and Leo grinned. "Give 'em an inch and they'll knock your freakin' knees out and cement you to the floor."

"That's very vivid."

"Well, they're masters at this stuff; you just gotta know it." He yawned and turned away, slapping Leo's shoulder one more time as he did so. "No more kissing girls alright?"

Leo's brow furrowed automatically but he said nothing about this as he watched his brother crawl under his sheets and hug his pillow to his face with a sigh.

"Now if we're all done bein' pansies here, it's the middle of the night and I'd like to get back to dreamin' about serving Fishface with a side of fries."

Leo's grin perked up just before it fell, and he simply stood there as Raph closed his eyes and feigned sleep. He could've left, Leo. In fact he _should_ have. He was now exhausted and felt entitled to at least a few hours of uninterrupted dreams. But while Raph's blunt humor had dried his tears, there was still an aching throb in his chest where he knew he'd never be able to look at Karai the same again, never be able to look at _himself_ the same again. It was as though he'd been sprinting forward for the past few weeks, at incredible speeds and then without warning was stopped by a brick wall that nearly shattered his bones as he smacked into it…and it _hurt_. And he was pretty positive that hurt wouldn't go away for a good while. And amazingly, the only thing that frightened him more than being hurt, was facing that hurt alone.

"Raph?"

"Mmm?"

Leo opened his mouth but then closed it again, unable to form the words. Raphael opened one eye and peeked at him through the shadows.

"What d'you want?"

Leo pursed his lips. "It's more what I _don't_ want."

Raph sighed as though exasperated, but Leo knew better. The Raph on the surface was not the same as the one beneath it. "What _don't _you want then?"

Leo's eyes shifted a moment before landing back on his brother. "To be alone," he answered quietly.

Raph stared at him for a moment, expression unreadable. It felt like a good handful of hearts beats had gone by before he gave an exaggerated groan and rolled over, snuggling closer to the wall. "Fine," he mumbled. "But if I get pushed up against the wall, I'm kicking your ass off the bed."

Leo didn't notice himself smiling, what was more, that it was a smile of gratitude laced with a thread of affection. He pulled off his gear and climbed in bed next to his brother, yanking his mask off last before curling up under the blankets and lying with his shell against Raph's.

He closed his eyes, completely oblivious to the smile Raph hid beneath the hem of the sheets.


	13. Chapter 13

_No hesitation. No arguing. As soon as his suspicions were confirmed, what for a brief moment had been the barest inkling of an idea became a full-fledged plan in a matter of seconds. They didn't have time to talk this over—and this was what he'd been assigned to do, born to do. A leader was someone who in a time of crisis acted quickly, arranged and rearranged strategies in the very midst of chaos. He'd learned to hone this craft into an instinct so that he knew when he had to make a quick decision and when that decision was the right one. _

_With a crease of determination to his brow and a resolute frown, he glared at his brothers firmly and swiped a katana from its sheath. "Go!" he ordered._

_All three of them gave him wide-eyed expressions of panic. They didn't move._

"_Whoa, Leo," Donnie said. "You're not thinking what I think you're thinking," he pleaded._

_Leonardo said nothing. Instead his response was to turn swiftly on his heel and take off at a sprint, trusting his brothers to obey his command._

"_He's thinking it!" he heard Donnie shout in alarm. Nevertheless, when Leo glanced briefly over his shoulder, he saw the three of them high-tailing it for the exit._

_A small burst of relief spread throughout his chest, calming his heartbeat, clearing his mind. He was suddenly hypersensitive to every facet of his surroundings—the Kraang, Traag, the portal, and his target: the power cell. _

_With a focus narrowed to the sharpness of a needle, he sliced his way cleanly through three Kraang bots and sped at a blurring speed around the energy-spewing portal, avoiding every hot-pink laser fired in his direction. He leapt with a flip onto the ledge where he ceased one Kraang's assault then sprung to the adjacent staircase to dismember yet another. _

_The moment the Kraang's defenses were down he turned, tightened a committed grip on his katana and propelled himself forward without another thought. Diving toward the floor with a battle cry, the glass dome surrounding the power cell gave a satisfying shatter as his sword speared the portal's energy source. A high-pitched charge gave out the briefest of warnings before a blast of pure energy burst from the power cell and knocked the wind out of everything in the room. _

_Leo used the torrent to boost himself straight up just as the base of the portal erupted with smoke. He managed to leap high enough to kick off of one of the portal's three generators, then a platform, using the succession of blasts to thrust himself higher with scarcely enough seconds in between to avoid being scorched. _

_His hand locked around a metal rafter and, in keeping with the build of momentum, he swung himself around to spring off of it and straight through a window. The glass shattered effortlessly, spitting him and hundreds of shards out into the dark, open air mere seconds before the entire TCRI building groaned and erupted once and then a final time with a deafening, earth-shaking explosion that engulfed him in darkness._

_The next time he blinked his eyes open, he was falling—at a gut-wrenching speed. He felt his heart kick into gear again, as though suddenly aware of the hazardous corner he'd backed himself into. It jumped up to his throat with a stunned beat and clung to his Adam's apple for dear life as he stared unblinkingly down hundreds of feet at the black pavement he was plummeting straight for._

_He clawed and kicked at the air, as though by flailing his limbs enough he might make himself fly, might prolong the end. But his arms and legs cut through the cold air with so little effort that it was like the god of fate was laughing at his pathetic attempt to live. _

_Wracked with a violent shiver of fear, he tore his gaze away from his fast-approaching end and threw an arm across his face to blind himself. If he was going to die, he didn't want to see it coming, lest he go out with a heart attack first. Or maybe he just didn't want to believe it was his death awaiting him with dark, menacing arms that wouldn't catch him but allow him to come to a halt so abrupt that it would shatter his shell to pieces and splatter the rest of him across the street in a mess of organs and blood. _

_Sure, when he'd left the layer only hours earlier he'd been prepared—if not ready—to quite possibly meet a very early end, and in the back of his mind he was glad he'd be leaving the world in a version of the heroic, blaze-of-glory type of way he'd wanted to. But falling quickly became a manipulator of the soul and all its deepest desires, shoving the things he'd neglected to do in life up to the forefront and hitting him with a breathtaking realization. He did not want to die. Not yet. He was only fifteen! He had a father waiting on him to return home. He had brothers he hadn't said goodbye to. And there was so much more he was willing to contribute to this city, as far as heroics went._

_A sting of tears attacked his eyes, but he kept them squeezed shut and held his breath, waiting—however reluctantly for the end of this endless fall._

_But…just as he swore he could feel the ground coming closer, he grunted as something plowed into him from behind. Strong hands locked themselves around his biceps, pulling his arms away from his face. He saw the ground glare at him hardly inches from his face as his whole body dipped with a rush of wind and adrenaline just before he was pulled back up. His stomach dropped, and he imagined if he'd ever get the chance to ride a roller coaster he'd already know the exact feeling. _

_His lungs burst with a gasp of both relief and surprise and he continued to stare down at the shrinking street in bewilderment until he heard his brother's voice shout triumphantly._

"_Whoo! In your face gravity!"_

_Leo, heart undergoing ballistic palpitations behind his plastron, looked up at Raph's smiling face with wide eyes. He felt his breath catch again for the briefest of moments as the sight of Raphael had never been so astonishing. It took a moment for his brain to catch up with the whir of emotions spinning in his head. But he felt Raph's grip tighten around his arms. His hands were strong, confident, albeit a little sweaty, but hell Leo wasn't going to complain. Under Raph's confident smirk, in Raph's secured embrace he was safe, he was alive, and he felt the nauseating tension in his muscles whisk away like a flame being blown out, and with it came a sigh._

"_Thanks, Raph," he said. He meant it to come out passive and unfazed, as though he hadn't been the least bit worried, but his voice betrayed him with a breathless waver. _

_Raph glanced down at him with victorious green eyes. "Anytime, buddy."_

* * *

><p>He opened his eyes, drawing in a long stabilizing breath as he did so, attempting to shake the trembles of adrenaline and relief while at the same time dragging himself dizzily back into reality where his cheek was pressed against something warm and muscly.<p>

He blinked at the plastron situated mere centimeters from his nose, for a moment quietly—but comfortably—disoriented. The arm cushioning his head twitched, and Leo glanced up with baited breath as Raph's arm curled definitively around him before relaxing again and draping over his neck, his fingers brushing Leo's cheek. The older turtle watched his brother's head fall sleepily to the side, his face now in full view and only inches above his head. Raph gave a soft snore indicating that, if he'd been disturbed at all, he was now well settled back in his own dream.

Leo stared.

He'd seen Raph sleep plenty of times, but never quite this close. It was astonishing really, how relaxed his expression was—all traces of anger, irritation, and the normal grimace of distaste gone from his brow and cheeks. Leo could've sworn Raph's usually frowning lips were even tilted with the slightest of smiles, though that could've been the way he was angled. Whatever the case, Raphael was completely at peace, and it was a moment so sacred Leo almost thought he should look away…But he couldn't.

Had his brother always looked like this? Had he always had this face? Had his jaw always been this strong, this masculine? Had his skin always been this shade of green? Had his nose always curved up like that? Had his bottom lip always been more prominent? Because if it had, Leo didn't understand how it had escaped him that Raphael was an oddly handsome being. Maybe it was just Raph's state of unconsciousness. Maybe it was because his sleep wiped away all glares and grimaces and left his face clean, pure, and natural. Leo's stomach twisted, a delayed reaction to what should have been an earlier realization.

His brow furrowed. He lifted a hand, intending to move Raph's hand away from his face, but only found himself lying his own hand on top of his brother's and leaving it there, his fingers automatically curling softly around Raph's. A warm shudder shook his shell as he dipped back into his dream for a moment and recalled the solid way in which Raph's hands had once and probably always would hold him. And he was overcome by that release of tension again, that feeling of safety and security, of life.

He wanted to thank him. The incident with the Kraang invasion had happened months ago and yet he felt as though Raph and just saved his life all over again. Of course…it wasn't exactly an uncommon thing to happen. Leo and his brothers saved each other's shells all the time. He didn't know why he'd dreamt of that moment in particular. He just knew he was grateful and slightly ashamed for not continuously acknowledging that his brother would always have his back, always keep him safe, always stop him from falling.

He pressed himself closer and nuzzled his face in the crook of Raph's neck between his chin and plastron. Still gripping his brother's hand, he nudged his nose against Raph's skin. He smelled just like that—skin—a slightly salty, moist scent, a very natural musk that Leo didn't mind at all.

He closed his eyes, listening to the faint rhythm of his brother's heartbeat, and drifted back to sleep.


End file.
